Well, if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that I don't usually drop off the face of the blogging world unless something is up. And something is up...not just one thing, but life in general. I feel so overwhelmed lately, and the more overwhelmed I feel, the less productive I am. Know how that is? It drives me crazy because part of the reason I feel overwhelmed is because I have so much to do, so by being super unproductive, it only magnifies the feelings of being overwhelmed. It's a vicious cycle. One that I've been caught in for awhile now and it just seems to go round and round.
Here's a sampling of what is currently my time, thoughts, and/or energy:
-the house hunt. Ugh. We've walked through 20 or so homes, and I don't feel like we're any closer to finding our home than before we started looking. Some days I want to just forget about looking and hope the perfect house is just dropped in our lap. Ha, ha. If only it could be that easy. DH wants to find a home sooner rather than later, and I've discovered I'm extremely picky and not willing to settle for a lesser home. Time is on our side, and I still feel like patience will pay off in the end. Still...part of me wants to stop checking my email and looking at all the listings each day. And then all of a sudden 6 new homes come on the market that fit some or most of our criteria and I can't resist setting up a time with our realtor to see them all. (That happened to me this week and we're going out to look at all 6 tomorrow).
-the SIL. DH and I spent one night this week filling out an online reporting form for CPS. It's a long story and he's been in touch with CPS years before about her. She's the SIL with 3 kids, living with the loser boyfriend, etc. She's drinking again and possibly doing drugs (while breastfeeding, of course) and DH's family, who sees it all because they live close by, refuse to do anything over fear they won't get to see the kids. Ugh. So frustrating.
-the runs. R has had a case of the runs for 12 days now. Fun, huh? Everything else about her seems ok (mood, hydration, appetite), so I haven't been too worried, but changing all those stinky diapers has been hard (see next point below). I did call her new Dr to talk about the situation this week and see if I should bring her in. Based on her response, I already feel good about switching R's files over. The Dr. said to try giving R probiotics (I'd been taking some but not her). We just started that this week, but it seems to be helping some....maybe. She's also been fiercely teething for awhile now (the top 2 big teeth are slowly, slowly coming in) and is drooling like crazy, which I read can serve as a laxative. If improvement is not certain by Monday, we're off to the Dr. though.
-diaper changes. I cannot change my own baby's diaper. Yeah, sounds funny, huh? Around the time all these extra diaper changes started (see above point), R started really upping her changing pad acrobatic moves. Now whenever and wherever I lay her down, she's instantly trying to roll over and crawl away. No amount or variety of toys will keep her attention laying on her back, so it becomes an all out wrestling match to change a diaper. She ends up crying as I force her to stay laying down and I almost end up crying because she is. I'm praying this is all temporary because I don't like creating such a negative environment over something that takes place so many times a day, but she needs to have her diaper changed. I try to make it fun and do as much as I can to get everything ready before laying her down, but it still results in wrestling. Ugh. So stressful. The only thing I haven't tried is changing her in a reclined position. I'm very open to other ideas and suggestions!
-my weight. I still have 20 pounds to lose from the pregnancy, and my weight hasn't been budging for months. I've recently starting walking 3x a week and eating at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables along with writing down everything I eat during the day. But other than that, I can't seem to find time or motivation for more, and it seems like it's going to take more than what I'm doing. Last summer I had the excuse of all my clothes not fitting because I had just given birth, but this summer, I don't really have an excuse, do I? I'm too cheap to buy new clothes, so I just end up wearing the same few shirts and pants over and over again, which reminds me of the extra weight I'm carrying around. And my brother is getting married this summer and I need to be able to fit into my bridesmaid dress. Time is definitely ticking in my mind.
-overnight wakings. We have yet to achieve the "my baby sleeps through the night" stage yet. Typically, R goes down for the night between 7-7:30. She wakes around 10:30-11 to eat and then again around 3. She's up in the morning by 7:30. Before all the diarrhea business started, I was thinking I'd try and see if we could drop the 3am feeding, but I haven't been wanting to try yet until her digestive issues are resolved. Both times she wakes up, she chows down and then is back asleep before I'm even settled back in my bed. I truly believe she is hungry, but all of these night wakings are hard for me. I try to bulk her up on food during the day, but that hasn't changed overnight yet. I said I'd stick it out until a year when we meet with her new doctor for her 12 month appt, but that's still 7 weeks away, I think (only 7 weeks! ahhh....she's growing so quickly).
-extra things. And then there are all the extra things I need to do like taxes, paperwork for mortgage lenders, claim forms for the moving company, unpacking boxes and repacking boxes, our yearly review with our financial advisor, etc.
-daily things. And then there are all the day to day things like dishes and keeping the house somewhat picked up. Cleaning...eh. That hasn't been happening as much as I would like. How do you moms stay on top of the house cleaning?
So that's sort of where I'm at. I seriously need to work on some time management around here, but I always say I'll do that another day. Sorry this post is depressing. Please don't take it as complaining. I'm just stating where I'm currently at and how it all contributes to my absence in the blog world. And now that I've written everything out, I can see why I've been feeling so overwhelmed for so long. I almost debated about not posting this because it was just so therapeutic to write everything out...almost like I gave myself the chance to acknowledge everything that's on my plate. But I decided to post it anyways because my blog is a record of my life- sort of like my online diary recording the ups and downs of this journey called life.
Here's a sampling of what is currently my time, thoughts, and/or energy:
-the house hunt. Ugh. We've walked through 20 or so homes, and I don't feel like we're any closer to finding our home than before we started looking. Some days I want to just forget about looking and hope the perfect house is just dropped in our lap. Ha, ha. If only it could be that easy. DH wants to find a home sooner rather than later, and I've discovered I'm extremely picky and not willing to settle for a lesser home. Time is on our side, and I still feel like patience will pay off in the end. Still...part of me wants to stop checking my email and looking at all the listings each day. And then all of a sudden 6 new homes come on the market that fit some or most of our criteria and I can't resist setting up a time with our realtor to see them all. (That happened to me this week and we're going out to look at all 6 tomorrow).
-the SIL. DH and I spent one night this week filling out an online reporting form for CPS. It's a long story and he's been in touch with CPS years before about her. She's the SIL with 3 kids, living with the loser boyfriend, etc. She's drinking again and possibly doing drugs (while breastfeeding, of course) and DH's family, who sees it all because they live close by, refuse to do anything over fear they won't get to see the kids. Ugh. So frustrating.
-the runs. R has had a case of the runs for 12 days now. Fun, huh? Everything else about her seems ok (mood, hydration, appetite), so I haven't been too worried, but changing all those stinky diapers has been hard (see next point below). I did call her new Dr to talk about the situation this week and see if I should bring her in. Based on her response, I already feel good about switching R's files over. The Dr. said to try giving R probiotics (I'd been taking some but not her). We just started that this week, but it seems to be helping some....maybe. She's also been fiercely teething for awhile now (the top 2 big teeth are slowly, slowly coming in) and is drooling like crazy, which I read can serve as a laxative. If improvement is not certain by Monday, we're off to the Dr. though.
-diaper changes. I cannot change my own baby's diaper. Yeah, sounds funny, huh? Around the time all these extra diaper changes started (see above point), R started really upping her changing pad acrobatic moves. Now whenever and wherever I lay her down, she's instantly trying to roll over and crawl away. No amount or variety of toys will keep her attention laying on her back, so it becomes an all out wrestling match to change a diaper. She ends up crying as I force her to stay laying down and I almost end up crying because she is. I'm praying this is all temporary because I don't like creating such a negative environment over something that takes place so many times a day, but she needs to have her diaper changed. I try to make it fun and do as much as I can to get everything ready before laying her down, but it still results in wrestling. Ugh. So stressful. The only thing I haven't tried is changing her in a reclined position. I'm very open to other ideas and suggestions!
-my weight. I still have 20 pounds to lose from the pregnancy, and my weight hasn't been budging for months. I've recently starting walking 3x a week and eating at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables along with writing down everything I eat during the day. But other than that, I can't seem to find time or motivation for more, and it seems like it's going to take more than what I'm doing. Last summer I had the excuse of all my clothes not fitting because I had just given birth, but this summer, I don't really have an excuse, do I? I'm too cheap to buy new clothes, so I just end up wearing the same few shirts and pants over and over again, which reminds me of the extra weight I'm carrying around. And my brother is getting married this summer and I need to be able to fit into my bridesmaid dress. Time is definitely ticking in my mind.
-overnight wakings. We have yet to achieve the "my baby sleeps through the night" stage yet. Typically, R goes down for the night between 7-7:30. She wakes around 10:30-11 to eat and then again around 3. She's up in the morning by 7:30. Before all the diarrhea business started, I was thinking I'd try and see if we could drop the 3am feeding, but I haven't been wanting to try yet until her digestive issues are resolved. Both times she wakes up, she chows down and then is back asleep before I'm even settled back in my bed. I truly believe she is hungry, but all of these night wakings are hard for me. I try to bulk her up on food during the day, but that hasn't changed overnight yet. I said I'd stick it out until a year when we meet with her new doctor for her 12 month appt, but that's still 7 weeks away, I think (only 7 weeks! ahhh....she's growing so quickly).
-extra things. And then there are all the extra things I need to do like taxes, paperwork for mortgage lenders, claim forms for the moving company, unpacking boxes and repacking boxes, our yearly review with our financial advisor, etc.
-daily things. And then there are all the day to day things like dishes and keeping the house somewhat picked up. Cleaning...eh. That hasn't been happening as much as I would like. How do you moms stay on top of the house cleaning?
So that's sort of where I'm at. I seriously need to work on some time management around here, but I always say I'll do that another day. Sorry this post is depressing. Please don't take it as complaining. I'm just stating where I'm currently at and how it all contributes to my absence in the blog world. And now that I've written everything out, I can see why I've been feeling so overwhelmed for so long. I almost debated about not posting this because it was just so therapeutic to write everything out...almost like I gave myself the chance to acknowledge everything that's on my plate. But I decided to post it anyways because my blog is a record of my life- sort of like my online diary recording the ups and downs of this journey called life.