Friday, April 24, 2015

Dusting Off

I've been thinking about dusting off the 'ol blogging keyboard and jumping back into the blogging world.  But gosh, at this point, I'm not sure I'd have any readers left.  It has been months....MONTHS... since I've posted.  I have drafts that I started, but just never got around to finishing.  It was hard to know where to start blogging again with such an ominous post up.  And frankly, until baby arrived, I just had too much fear and anxiety to deal with.  You see, my husband had a dream and a strong sense that I was going to die in childbirth.  THAT was the ominous feeling surrounding the pregnancy.  I didn't want to necessarily spell it out because I wasn't looking for sympathy and didn't want people thinking I was crazy.  But y'all, my husband has senses that just come true- the genders of our children, that we were moving, senses about people, etc.. This is one of just two times he's been wrong, and I'm thankful that he was, but man, I'm still not sure what God's purpose was in all of that. 

But anyways, all is well.  I do want to blog about the rest of the pregnancy, the birth, adjusting to 2 at home, and what we've been up to.  But gosh, it's hard to know when and what to write.  This started out as an IF and miscarriage blog, and things have changed so much in the years since I started it.  I guess my purpose in blogging has always been to record my story as an online dairy of sorts, to share my story in case it might help others, and to glorify God in the whole process.  Spelling it out that way makes me think that I should keep blogging even if my audience is zero.

I've still been reading blogs on a weekly basis now more than the daily check ins I used to do.  I haven't been commenting because something has changed with gmail/google/blogger so even though I'm logged in when I comment, the comment doesn't show up.  Not sure what I need to do to fix this, but there are a few people/blogs I've really missed out on commenting.

And I'm finally hitting "post" during National Infertility Week.  Coincidence?  No. What was a major part of years of my life still is never far from my mind even though outward appearances may suggest otherwise.   To those of you still in the trenches, hang in there.  We think of you and pray for you often.  Your tears are not fruitless.  Praying for your "songs of joy" to come soon (Psalm 126:5).