Well, I've been back in the US for 6 days now and am adjusting back to the time change. Melatonin has become my best friend. Seriously, where was Melatonin 10 years ago when I was living in Asia and traveling back and forth? It is amazing and so much better than Tylenol PM or other sleep aids. I've slept mainly through the night and have woken up refreshed (not groggy or hung-over feeling like the other sleep aids do). This is my new wonder drug for traveling- not that I have any more trips planned, but still.
The adjustment back has been hard. I'm seriously lacking motivation to do much of anything. It could be slight depression- coming down off of the high from our trip, CD 1 that started this week, the environment in which we live, the fact that DH's sister is about ready to give birth to her 2nd child out of wedlock, the news that my little brother and his wife are having a girl, the jealousy that I'm filled with over those two previously mentioned children, the fact I still have brown bleeding this cycle, or it could be a combination of all of the above.
I think it's a combination of everything, but it's still not a pleasant place to be in. I'd much rather still be in Russia, and my DH said the same thing yesterday. It was nice to be traveling and serving together and not thinking about IF as constantly as I find myself now that I'm home and not yet back to work.
Now that I've aired my complaint list, here's what my daily flip calendar had to say today: "Though your joy may seem fleeting, the Lord is constant." "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4
The exclamation point at the end of the verse is almost like a command statement- do it (rejoice)! I'm really trying to look at the positives- of the trip we were able to take together and the encouragement we were able to provide Christian brothers and sisters in Russia. DH and I are working on a presentation to share with people after church since many at our church supported us with prayers and financial support. Once we get more of that done, the plan is to update you on our trip.
So- what do you want to know about the trip? Do you want just photos and short stories? Do you want more detailed accounts to read? Cultural observations? Let me know and I'll look forward to sharing.
The adjustment back has been hard. I'm seriously lacking motivation to do much of anything. It could be slight depression- coming down off of the high from our trip, CD 1 that started this week, the environment in which we live, the fact that DH's sister is about ready to give birth to her 2nd child out of wedlock, the news that my little brother and his wife are having a girl, the jealousy that I'm filled with over those two previously mentioned children, the fact I still have brown bleeding this cycle, or it could be a combination of all of the above.
I think it's a combination of everything, but it's still not a pleasant place to be in. I'd much rather still be in Russia, and my DH said the same thing yesterday. It was nice to be traveling and serving together and not thinking about IF as constantly as I find myself now that I'm home and not yet back to work.
Now that I've aired my complaint list, here's what my daily flip calendar had to say today: "Though your joy may seem fleeting, the Lord is constant." "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4
The exclamation point at the end of the verse is almost like a command statement- do it (rejoice)! I'm really trying to look at the positives- of the trip we were able to take together and the encouragement we were able to provide Christian brothers and sisters in Russia. DH and I are working on a presentation to share with people after church since many at our church supported us with prayers and financial support. Once we get more of that done, the plan is to update you on our trip.
So- what do you want to know about the trip? Do you want just photos and short stories? Do you want more detailed accounts to read? Cultural observations? Let me know and I'll look forward to sharing.
Phil 4:4 is such a great verse, but so tough sometimes.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back and that you are able to get some sleep! Looking forward to seeing pics and hearing about your amazing trip!
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back and that you are able to get some sleep! Looking forward to seeing pics and hearing about your amazing trip!
ReplyDeleteAny info about your trip is great. Photos are always good, as they explain so much.
ReplyDeleteYou have quite a monumentous task of "rejoicing" in others pregnancies, I'll say. You've been whammed into the ground and its got to be hard to get up. I can understand the depression.
I'm sorry for your IF struggles. (I still have brown bleeding too.) I'll keep you in my prayers.
right there with you. i have spent almost this whole summer with a lack of motivation for many things, but especially fertility related things. i think the build-up to the surgery and all the other amazing things going on in my life in the spring just made me feel such a let down when i was faced with still this situation of subfertility. you aren't alone!
ReplyDeletei'd love to hear about the cultural differences, those fascinate me so much and i know so little about Russia! of course also why you went and what you did of course, as well. glad to here you're back and safe!
Welcome back! I'd love to hear about your trip and see pics. Sorry you're feeling down right now.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement, ladies! I really need it and appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI do have to say that being on vacation is such a great way to distract oneself from IF!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to see photos of your trip!
Sorry to hear your cycle is still not good. I thought maybe while you were away and not thinking IF something would happen. I would love to hear some stories about your trip and photos too, of course. Oh yes, cultural things are interesting too. Everything I guess.
ReplyDeleteI always felt the same way coming back from my mission trips! It was hard getting back to reality.
ReplyDeleteI cant wait to hear about your team and what sort of work you did? and yes pictures!!
Love to hear about your work, see pics and learn about the culture. Thanks for your willingness to share! It took me a week to recover from a 6 day trip to Seattle- we live in Illinois. I can only imagine recovering from international travel! Take it easy ;)
ReplyDeletePraying for the jealousy you are experiencing - I've been there with siblings, I know that pain!!
ReplyDeleteTake heart in what my preist told me during counseling...the jealousy is not a sin, it's a natural reaction to your grief. Acting on that jealousy is the sin.
Praying for you!!