A Heavy Heart

I should start by saying things with Baby and I are good.  We've entered the 3rd trimester this week, my OB appointment yesterday went well (belly is measuring on schedule this month and Baby is healthy and active), and my progesterone number from yesterday is up into mid-Zone 2: an all time high for me this pregnancy.  Last draw it was mid-zone 1, so this is an awesome increase in my opinion.  We also survived our trip to MN and overall had a really good weekend with most people in my family.  I need to upload pictures and post about the trip.  All of these are good things and should be reasons why I am filled with joy, but right now my heart is heavy since our return home.

First, it was reading about sweet Baby Carson's death.  I've been praying for this baby ever since October when I met Aunt C. in MN and heard of his mama's difficult pregnancy.  It's been easy to be reminded to pray for Carson and Mom as I was just a few weeks ahead of them in this pregnancy.  My heart is absolutely broken for them after all they have endured to keep him alive since the beginning of the pregnancy.

Then it was a phone call Monday from one of the college students I minister to/volunteer over at church. C. called to tell me her dad was dying and she needed to rush home.  This was all pretty sudden and unexpected.

Then it was the news from a friend here, K., yesterday that her 8-week u/s only showed a sac and no baby.  What a Valentine's Day.  The insensitive OB said she was really only 5 weeks along when she knew she was closer to 8 weeks because a home pregnancy test confirmed the pregnancy at 4 weeks.  Without any blood work, this Dr. sent her home to wait it out.  I'm heartbroken for her.  She already experienced one miscarriage with her 1st pregnancy exactly 2 years ago.  In fact, her due date with this baby was to be the exact same as with #1.  While she does have a healthy boy (pregnancy #2), I can't imagine having to re-live the pain of her 1st loss all over again in the same time frame.

Then it was a phone call this afternoon from the college student saying her dad died this morning.  I cannot imagine losing my father at such a young age of 20.  We were both crying on the phone and my heart is broken for hers.

So while I do have a lot of neat stories to share about MN and some pictures, my heart just isn't in it today.  I'm too busy thinking of the extreme pain people around me are going through.  I will be back to post about my trip when my heart is ready for it.  Seems fitting Ash Wednesday is only a week away, huh?

Jesus, I am trusting you to fill these people with peace, to give them comfort, and to hold them close to Your heart as You bring healing into their lives.