Reflux?

I'm still recovering from our long weekend.  We had friends visiting us for the whole weekend, and while it was great to see them (we only see them once or twice a year), both DH and I were exhausted by the time they left Monday afternoon.  They were our 1st house guest since we had our basement finished (they loved having their own bedroom and bathroom downstairs) and our 1st house guests since Baby arrived.  And really, they were ideal house guests because they just made themselves at home while DH and I took care of Baby R.  They made their own breakfasts, did dishes, cleaned some of our house, and even washed their sheets and towels this morning before they left and remade the guestbed, so it would be ready for our next guests in 2 weeks.  Can you believe it?

Still, it was a long weekend because neither DH nor I got many naps in during the day, which are what have been helping us make it through the night with Baby R. since she still has a rough time some evenings.  She is still so unpredictable though.  Friday she did so well during the day and slept well in the evening without much fussing.  She slept 3 hours, 3 hours, and 2 hours Friday night.  Perfect!  Our friends thought we had the perfect baby...until the rest of the weekend rolled around.

Baby R. became very spitty and extremely fussy over the weekend, spitting up a lot with every feeding.  I've suspected reflux for a few days now, but the weekend really seemed to confirm it in my mind.  DH and I have tried a lot of different methods to cut down on her excessive spitting up...burping her every 5-7 minutes while feeding, nursing her while she's at in incline not laying horizontally, elevating the top of her bed a bit, doing gas drops at each feeding, nursing only from one side, and keeping her upright for 30-60 minutes after eating before laying her down in the crib. I've even become really picky with what I eat and drink and cut out dairy, eggs, and caffeine along with watching so I don't eat gassy foods.

It's frustrating for me that nothing seems to really work because she seems like she's so uncomfortable at times.  It used to be that I would nurse and she would fall into a "milk coma," so sleepy and content with a full belly, but milk coma girl is no more.  Now I nurse and she continues to fuss, grunt, arch her back while eating, and then cry and cry afterwards.  Sometimes she really works herself up with the cries and the only thing I can think of is that her little insides are uncomfortable.

This weekend, I would nurse for 5 minutes, stop to burp and she would already be spitting up.  I would nurse another 5 minutes, burp, and she'd spit up again.  Certainly, that can't be normal?  She never has a problem not wanting to nurse, and sometimes (often times?) she nurses too much.  I've read babies with reflux can often overeat because the breast milk acts as an antacid and is so soothing to them, they don't stop eating.  I've tried to just nurse her for 18-22 minutes and not more to see if that cuts down on the spitting up (results uncertain at the moment).

And we're not just talking about a small amount of spit-up.  We are talking about enough to soak through a thick burp cloth, enough to pour all the way down your back from your shoulder and onto the floor...I think it's definitely more than the 2 tablespoons I've read can be normal.  Her spit-up varies from watery to mucusy to chunky.  The good thing is she's not vomiting and there's no projectile aspect to her spitting up.

Since we started letting her wake herself up and us not waking her, she eats every 3-4 hours for the most part.  Some times she'll want to eat 2 or 2 1/2 hours after the last feeding, but typically she nurses and burps for 1/2 an hour and then it takes us another half an hour (or more to put her down) and she'll usually sleep 1-2 or sometimes 3 hour stretches.  She's usually very hungry when she wakes up and I feed her almost right way.  We've thought about waking her up again to nurse, so she eats smaller meals more frequently, but that's the last resort to try.  It's so nice to let her sleep the amount of time she needs to, which is only 13-15 hours a day (yes, I've been keeping track of how much she sleeps, eats, and poops).  With so much time between feedings, she only gets 6-7 feedings in a day, but nurses well during those times.

The worst part of all this is when the spitting up wakes her up from sleeping.  We'll feed and burp and go through all of the spit-up cleaning business at that time.  Then we hold her or rock her for 30-60 minutes until she falls asleep and we can put her in her crib.  Then 1-2 hours later she spits up in her crib, which wakes her up from her sleep and she usually won't go back to sleep at that point.

I called her pediatrician's office on Friday, but her doctor was out of town and so I just got a response back from the on-call doctor who said it's not a problem as long as she's eating ok and gaining weight.  We are going to do another weight check with her Tuesday or Wednesday to see if she's still gaining an ok amount of weight as she has been the previous 2 weeks, but to me all the spitting up just seems excessive and I hate seeing her cry so violently after I feed her.

So...what do you think?  Am I crazy to think she has reflux?  Are there other things I need to try?  Do I need to get her in to her pediatrician to talk about this or just ride it out?  Does stress affect the composition of my breast milk (I was definitely stressed and low on sleep this weekend)?  Could it have just been a little stomach bug this weekend?

The Birth Story: Part 1: Preparing for Labor

Well, here we go...I'm finally starting the birth story, but before I talk about going into labor, I need to tell you how I prepared for labor, so you can appreciate the labor and delivery story.  DH and I took a 6-week lamaze class offered by the hospital we were going to deliver at.  We actually took a whole series of classes that included parenting, infant safety, lamaze, breastfeeding, etc.  It was a package deal, so we got a discount on the pricing:-)  For 6 weeks we learned about the stages of labor, relaxation techniques and comfort measures, breathing techniques (hee hee, ha ha), and medical interventions.  We also watched a birth video and talked briefly about what to do after Baby arrived.  Oh, and DH got to wear the empathy belly (a 30 pound outfit with breasts, a pregnant belly, and simulated rib pain).  That was my favorite part.  I got pictures of him wearing it, but I'll spare him the blog embarrassment.

This being our first experience with labor, I'd say the classes were informative and helpful.  We learned a lot about labor and this particular hospital's general approaches to it.  Therefore, it gave DH and I a lot to talk about as far as our preferences for our birth at the hospital, and we were able to start some of the relaxation techniques during the end of the pregnancy.

With that said, however, once the class was over, I did not feel prepared to give birth.  I don't know if it was because I still had a lot of fear about the pain or if there were so many things in the class I felt like I couldn't remember how to do them all.

Even as we were preparing to take lamaze, I knew I wanted to have a doula (labor coach) present for our birth.  I knew I would need someone to keep me calm, and I also knew it couldn't be DH because I probably wouldn't listen solely to him since neither of us had been through the birth process before.  We found a Christian lady we really liked who had been present at over 60 births.  She'd been a doula for almost 15 years and actually used to teach the Bradley Method.  We arranged to go through her comfort measures class after we finished lamaze, so that's what we did.  We learned all the basics from the hospital-sponsored class and then worked with the doula specifically on her approach to labor.  She focused more on a deep, slow breathing technique that I liked better than the lamaze one, and she also had a lot of different positions to labor in that we practiced.  We practiced some self-pep-talks as I called them (I'm a strong confident woman.  Labor is a natural process, etc.)  I also coined my own phrases that I wanted to focus on during labor that were meaningful to me, yet short enough that I could remember them (I thought).

They were: Trust God.  Trust my body
and God is good.  This (labor) is good.

These were phrases that helped me focus on God, first of all.  I knew I would need Him to be clearly present during labor to give me peace and comfort during what might be the most difficult thing I'd have to get through thus far.  And the phrases also started teaching me to trust my body/trust the labor process.  Trusting my body was not something I was able to do well...even through pregnancy I still thought my body was going to fail me, since my experience with my body was so many years of failure and brokenness.  I knew I needed to start re-training my mind in regards to my thoughts about my body in order to make it through labor.

After the comfort measures classes with the doula, we started working on writing our birth plan.  This was a one-page document where DH and I recorded our preferences, to the best of our ability, regarding our hoped for birth outcome.  It was actually harder to write than I thought because I knew what some of the hospital procedures were (cutting the cord right away) and knew what my preference would be (waiting to cut the cord until it's stopped pulsing).  Some of the things I decided weren't as big of a deal to me as others like the timeline for cutting the cord.  Here's what we came up with:

Date: April 17, 2012

Our main goal is to have a healthy baby, healthy mom, and positive birth experience.  While I know that I may need to respond to unexpected situations, this birth plan reflects our current desires.

·         -I would like my labor to begin on its own, unless there's a medical reason why induction would be safer.

·         -I would like to labor without pain relief drugs as long as possible using comfort and relaxation measures such as walking, position changes, and trying the Jacuzzi tub.

·         - I plan to have continuous labor support from my husband and a doula.

·         -I would like my labor room to be as quiet and calm as possible with as few interruptions and vaginal exams as possible.

·         -I would like fetal monitoring to be intermittent and external if the baby shows no distress signs.

·         -I would prefer to have my waters break on their own.

-I am comfortable with letting labor progress at its own rhythm, and I prefer non-drug methods to

help labor progress.

·         -I prefer to let my perineum stretch on its own, and I realize I may experience a natural tear.

·         -If absolutely necessary, we would prefer vacuum extraction over forceps.

·         -If I’ve not had an epidural, I’d prefer mother-initiated pushing.

·         -After delivery, I would like my husband to cut the cord.

·         -After baby is suctioned and cleaned, I would like to hold baby skin to skin.

·         -I want to breastfeed as soon as possible after delivery.  Please delay baby’s eye ointment application until after breastfeeding.

·         -I want to keep baby with me after birth, allowing us to have as much skin-to-skin contact as possible and unlimited opportunities for breastfeeding.

·         -We would like to be present for baby’s 1^st bath and the pediatrician’s exam of baby.

-Please don’t give baby bottles, formula, or pacifiers.

-Please don’t give baby the Hepatitis B vaccine.  We are delaying this.


We actually shared this birth plan with our doula first to get her feedback and did make a few changes from what she suggested.  Then we shared the plan with our OB.  I wasn't sure how she would respond, but she was very open to everything we had written and said it wasn't really that far off from what they usually do at the hospital (skin to skin, breastfeeding right away, etc.)  She kept a copy of the birth plan in my medical file and I printed extra copies and added them to our hospital bag.  

You notice that I don't have much about pain relief medications in the birth plan.  My thought was that I'd like to labor as long as possible without medication, but I didn't think I could go through the whole labor and delivery without any meds because I didn't think I had the mental strength or physical stamina to endure.  I thought I'd end up with an epidural at some point.  My DH, on the other hand, thought I was mentally tougher than I gave myself credit for, but this was really one area that I was quite uncertain about.  It was strange to have labor looming on the horizon, and not really have a "plan" of how exactly it would go.  I'm such a planner, this was a first for me, and for the most part, I was ok doing as much preparation as I could, and then just waiting it out to see how things went.  Though I'll admit, at times, it was still scary to think about the pains of labor, and even right up until the end, I sort of got freaked out by the whole idea that I actually had to go through the birthing process.

Now that our classes were completed, our meetings had been completed with our doula, and our birth plan was in writing...the only thing left to do was wait until labor started.  

To be continued in Part 2...

Two Week Stats

I'm still working on the birth story.  It'll probably be coming in installments because I have quite a few thoughts I'd like to share.  In the meantime, today marks 2 weeks since R. cruised into the world!  It's so hard to believe.  We took her to the pediatrician yesterday for her 2 week check, so while we didn't quite get the official 2 week stats, here's where she is at compared with birth:

Height: 
at birth: 19.5 inches
at 13 days: 20.25 inches (51%)

Weight:
at birth: 7 lb 3 oz
discharged from the hospital 40 hours later: 6 lb 7 oz
at 4 days old: 6 lb 8 oz (14%)
at 13 days old: 6 lb 14 oz (12%)

Head circumference:
at birth: 12.75 inches
at 13 days old: 13.75 inches (26%)

She is definitely growing, though she still seems so little!  Two weeks in, we're still sleep deprived and feeling a little clueless about this whole parenting thing.  Don't get me wrong, we are enjoying it immensely, but are constantly reminded about how little we know.  I'm trying to go with my instincts, but sometimes that's hard as well.

Her pediatrician said she should be gaining 0.5-1.0 oz every day, and it seems like she has been doing that since we brought her home.  The problem has been we've been needing to wake her up for almost every feeding.  The pediatrician said we should be waking her every 2-3 hours, so she can eat, so we had been waking her every 3 hours.  From a scheduling standpoint, that 3-hour schedule has been nice to know what's coming up, but from a happy baby/happy parents standpoint, it hasn't been working so well.  She's so sleepy that it's harder to get her to nurse, and then when it's time to put her down again, she's awake and fights sleep.

After her appt. yesterday and seeing that she is gaining an ok amount of weight, we decided to let her go 4 hours between feedings overnight, which meant she was sleeping 3 hours in a row.  The first segment she actually woke up herself and the 2nd one we had to wake her.  I think our goal now is to have her be the one to wake herself up for most (all?) of the feedings because things seem to go so much better.  I have a feeling though that this will mean she doesn't get her 8-12 recommended feedings because she's only getting 8 right now when we wake up for them.  Any advice from seasoned mommies out there regarding feeding and letting her sleep?

I also starting pumping yesterday because I've been concerned about my supply.  When my milk first came in, I was engorged big time.  I should have pumped that 1st week, but honestly, everything was so new, I didn't want to add the stress of pumping to an already full schedule where it felt like I hardly had time to eat.  My milk seemed to decrease/even out with what R. has been eating, but then I sort of had a few freakout moments this week about what if I don't have enough.  Given my PCOS, I know supply can be an issue, and I know I'm getting ahead of myself with worry, but I just want to be proactive given I feel strongly about trying to breastfeed as long as possible.  I know some people have taken fengugreek, gone back on Metformin, etc., and while I'm not at that point yet, making sure she's getting enough milk is at the top of my priority list.

I'll take all advice you're willing to give:-)  I'm going to have our doula come over again tomorrow to discuss both of these issues and give some tips, but I'll take any more you have to give.

And because I know you want another picture, here she is wide awake.  This was probably taken at 11pm, since that seems to be her most awake time:-)  I'm still waiting to get the CD of her newborn pictures.  I'll post more pictures after that.

A Mother's Day Prayer

Dear Lord,

There are so many special women in my life, today I pray for them:

• for grandmothers
• and mothers
• and new mothers
• and soon-to-be mothers
• and adoptive mothers
• and Godmothers
• and most of all, for those that still long to be called mother.

Be with all of them this day.  Let them know how much You love them and care for them.  Remind them of your goodness and faithfulness in their life, even if it's difficult to see at the moment.  Amen.

Quick Takes (24)

--- 1 ---

I'm just popping in with a quick update for y'all.  I'm still processing the whole labor and delivery process, and am jotting a few things down to share once I've written all my thoughts down for myself.  It's so hard to believe it's been over a week since our little one arrived.  DH and I have made remarkable strides with caring for her as well as my recovery.  Amazing what a week can do.

--- 2 ---

Some new post-partum vocabulary I've learned: sitz baths, Tucks pads (witch hazel), Dibucaine cream, personal cleansing bottle, etc.  All were new to me prior to giving birth, and if you don't know what I'm talking about, just think of perineum care after a traumatic event.

--- 3 ---

Yesterday we took Baby R. to get her newborn pictures by the same photographer that did our maternity ones.  I've only seen one preview shot, but it is adorable.  I can't wait to see the others.  Her cord also fell off yesterday before the photo shoot....at just one week old.  DH and I think she's going to be an over-achiever.

--- 4 ---

Our farmer's market opens tomorrow in town, and I'm so excited for fresh, home grown veggies!  DH is going to go and pick some things up for us tomorrow from our share of produce we purchased for the summer.  Can't wait!

--- 5 ---

Mother's Day is coming up this weekend and my head and heart are so full of mixed emotions.  Last year was terribly emotional for me as an IF mother and mother to 2 lost children due to miscarriage.  Church that day was especially hard and difficult, and I can clearly remember being so angry at God.  And now we come to a completely different place just one year later.  It's almost too much to process.  The irony of it all is I won't be attending church (because Baby R. is too little to be brought out in big crowds yet), yet this will be my 1st Mother's Day as a mother to living children this side of heaven.

--- 6 ---

Now that I'm home all day, I realize how many junk calls we get on our landline.  Yes, we still have a landline phone, but maybe now is the perfect time to get rid of it!  We're also looking at budget issues since DH had a bit of sticker shock when he went to buy diapers.  I've been telling him how much a kid is all along, but now I think he is finally starting to understand.  Add to that, I got a message from my boss yesterday saying that I may not have a job for the fall.  That was a little bit of a shock for my post-partum emotions to handle.  I'd been planning to take the summer off and return to part-time teaching in August, teaching just 1 class.  She scheduled me for the class I wanted to teach at a time frame that works with DH's schedule.  I thought things were going to work perfectly with me bringing in a little income, yet not having to return to too much work.  It looks like that might not be the case any more with decisions coming down from above, etc.  It's hard for me to think my career for the past 8 years may have ended this past term without me realizing it was over.  Of course, things could change before August, so I'm just trying to trust that it will all work out, but it does make us a little more mindful of our spending habits right now.

--- 7 ---

Finally, I think Baby R. has her days and nights mixed up.  She is such a happy, content baby (for the most part) during the day time.  She feeds well and sleeps fairly well during daylight hours.  As soon as the sun goes down, it feels like we have a different baby.  Those first few night feedings were rough.  I'd feed her, DH would swaddle her, and she'd cry and fuss for hours.  Now she's just awake for 1-2 hours after a feeding.  That wouldn't be too bad during the daytime, but at 2 or 3am, it works on our patience.  As I thought back, I realized she was more active in the womb during evening hours, so it does make sense.  Still, my phrase for the day that I put as my Facebook status has been "my sleep tank might be running on low, but my heart is full."  That pretty much sums up life for us in the PPIW household!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Meet the Babe

Thanks to everyone who left such fabulous, congratulatory comments.  I feel so loved!  I know many of you have been dying for a picture, so here's one I took yesterday before we left the hospital to come home.  R. was 2 days old in the picture.

I have so many thoughts swirling around in my head...about labor and delivery, how our bodies (yes, even formerly IF, broken bodies) instinctively know how to give birth, how the recovery process is going, mama instincts about her baby, about nursing, about Baby instincts, seeing God's hand through these past 3 days, etc.

But sleep is low at the moment and every day is full of new challenges and things we need to learn through trial and error.  Every baby is different.  Our latest challenges are a gassy baby (she was spitting up lots of amniotic fluid after she was born), how to get her to burp well and get rid of the gas, and then the challenge of feeding her.  Her weight was 7 lb 3 oz when she was born, but when we left the hospital she was 6 lb 7oz yesterday morning and her pediatrician is a little worried.  A few hours after that, my milk came in as if my body knew she needed to put on some weight fast!  Amazing, huh?   We had just gotten the hang of nursing down and then it has suddenly become a new challenge.  Things are engorged and I'm trying to deal with it without pumping yet to see what happens these next 24 hours.

My heart is full and tears finally flowed when DH and I put her in her car seat to take her home yesterday.  I cried the whole car ride home.  It's still unbelievable to me.  Right up until the end, I still wondered if something was going to go wrong, if she was going to have physical or mental health problems, pregnancy still seemed surreal.  So far she is perfect!  I could just sit and stare at her for hours.  I'm truly in awe.  But I know I need sleep to help my body heal (lots of stitches down there, a few 1st degree tears and a 2nd degree one), so I'm off to rest since she's asleep at the moment.  Please know I've been thinking of you- my blogger friends- constantly these past few days.  I wish you were here with me, so I could share the details going on.  I will share her birth story and more in the future, but until then, know you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Today was the day!

My DH and I would like to welcome to the world our daughter, Rachel Elizabeth, born at 3:05 PM MST this afternoon, weighing in at 7 lbs 3 ozs, 19 1/2 inches long.  I didn't even have time to update my blog before we went into labor, it all happened so fast.  Contractions began at 6:00 AM, 10 minutes apart.  Our doula came over around 10:00, said we had quite a bit of time, but I couldn't bear the back pain any longer, so we went to the hospital at 12:00.  They checked me, and discovered that I was already at a 7.  Three hours later, little baby Rachel was born.  No time for pain meds through the labor process, either!  We will update more with the meaning of her name and photos, so stay tuned! 

This is the day that the LORD has made!  We will rejoice and be glad in it!