Sharing Your Story

One of the recent topics for a MOPS meeting was all about telling your story.  And it wasn't just focused on telling the events of your life, but more on the transfer of one main idea - sort of like a life lesson from God.  I've shared lots of elements of my story before, but I've never really thought of it in a way of transferring something to another person that they can grow from.  I really liked that and thought it was much more God-glorifying than just a lot of talk about events in my life.

To prepare for our story, we watched this video.  Lysa Terkeurst does a much better job explaining the concept of telling your story.  Rather than focusing on a linear, chronological approach, she looks at our stories as a wheel.

Watch for more details:

After watching the video, I took some time to journal different aspects of my life and areas where I had felt closest and farthest away from God.  I really was surprised at how my story took shape as I followed the guidelines in the video (intro, theme/sticky hub, event, connect event to theme, etc.).  With it being National Infertility Awareness Week this week (April 20-26), I thought it was fitting to share some of what I learned about telling your story and also to share some of my story.

The fact is, we all have stories to tell. God is working in us, around us, and through us all the time.  He is doing amazing things constantly, and while they may not be the things we want Him to be doing, there are lessons to be learned in it all.

I typed out the gist of what I shared with my MOPS group when we all came together to share our stories:

Hard times and the hand of God:  I feel like one of the themes in my life has been hard times and the growth that has happened as a result- both emotional and spiritual growth.   I’ve had my share of hard times, but God’s presence has always been felt or experienced through those struggles and I’ve always come out a stronger person as a result.  From my high school days when I would attend church by myself to having to transfer colleges my 3^rd year to a broken relationship with my mom...these have all been areas where I've struggled personally.
 

But for me, there are a few key instances that stand out that have been hard, but looking back, I see where God had His hand as He took those hard times and redeemed them for good and His glory.  

1.  I wasn’t quite ready to settle down into a real-world job after college, so I decided to go overseas.  I ended up with a program teaching English in China.  We left late August 2001.  The adjustment was harder than I imagined.  The sights, sounds, and smells were so different.  I was completely out of my comfort zone.  And then 9/11 happened and I was in a foreign country, and a communist one at that, where our information was censored.  We pretended we were Canadians for awhile and had travel restrictions placed on us by our organization.  We felt alone, isolated, scared, and confused.

But God did not leave me.  I worked through those hard times with my fellow American teachers.  I grew to love the Chinese language, culture, people and food.  So much so that after my 10 month commitment was up, I signed on for another whole year.  That is all God!  I was ready to abandon the country after a month and God redeems that for 2 years of my life spent in China.  He is so good.  Those were some of my most memorable years where I saw God at work in me and around me.  I got to travel and experience the wonders of His creation.  I formed friendships with some that I still keep in touch with. That is clearly the hand of God at work in my life.

Another hard time in my life that God really used to show His power and glory was a longer period of time….about 5 years.

2. It started out with the diagnosis of some chronic health problems for me (PCOS).  There was relief in finally having a diagnosis to what was wrong with me.  But then we dealt with infertility.  For 2 years we prayed and waited and cried out to God for a child while it seemed like everyone around us was growing their family as we longed to do.  

Finally, we were pregnant and there was much joy for a few weeks until our 1^st ultrasound when we saw the baby had stopped growing.  I was devastated.    Nothing could have prepared me for the loss of our 1^st child.  I spent the better part of a year being ticked off at God, wrestling with Him over the “why” of the event, and just being angry and depressed.  And then nearly 1 year later we were pregnant again, only to suffer another early loss.

Finally, after a mission trip to Russia, and another year gone by after that 2^nd loss (I don’t know what it was with us and finding out we were pregnant in Septembers!), we found ourselves pregnant a 3^rd time.  This time it stuck, we went on to have a healthy pregnancy, and a beautiful, amazing gift in our daughter.  Those years of IF and loss were some of my darkest days, and yet, looking back, I know God never left me.  His presence was always with me, and while the events didn’t initially play out how I wanted, He redeemed all of those struggles and made them good in His time.  I am such a better parent now after having waited those years for our daughter.  I’m so much more patient and loving; I find so much joy in the day to day interactions from her.  I don’t take it for granted like I’m afraid I may have had pregnancy come easy for us.  I love being a mom.  I know what a gift it is.

And so those are some of the lessons I try to take with me when I experience hard times…because I know more will be coming.  I try to remember:  God is always with me, even when it doesn’t feel like it.  God can take the hard times and struggles and redeem them for His good and glory.  In fact, it may be those exact times where He chooses to reveal how mighty His power really is.  I know I’ve seen it numerous times in my life, and I hope you are able to see Him working even when times are hard.  For it’s in those hard times that come the greatest periods of spiritual growth for me.

So...that's the part of my story that I felt like sharing with my group.  Most didn't know our struggle with IF and miscarriages.  I pray that me sharing my story gave someone there hope- hope to trust in God, His timing, and His plan. 

I hope the same is true for those that are reading this blog.  I don't think it's coincidental that National Infertility Awareness Week began on Easter....God's most redemptive act....saving the world through the death and resurrection of His Son.  God didn't work how the people thought He would.  He worked in His time and in His own, humble way to save the world.  May that working be true in your life as well.

Why, hello there, folks.

Wow...time is a flying these days.  I am embarrassed so many months have passed since visiting this little ol blog.  I have thought about penning an update often, but then I think, oh man, it's been too long.  I don't know where to start.  And more time goes by.  I read the blogs of others and think, I should really update my blog.  There's a lot going on.  And then I don't know where to start.  Or I think about all that I feel God is teaching me or speaking to me, and I think, I should post this on my blog and share it.  And then more time goes by and I forgot about it, or I just write it in my journal.

So here I am...jumping back into the waters.  Since I don't really know where to start, I'll just start by recapping the last almost 3 months (gulp).  We'll start with February here.  March and April will probably be there own updates...ha, ha. I know how wordy (I call it descriptive) I can be.  I'll do bullet points since it's easiest and I'm feeling lazy.

• We lived through our 1st and 2nd major snowstorms here.  Oh, man. Those were adventures.  They aren't kidding when they say everything shuts down for a few (2-3) inches of snow.  I'm talking...grocery stores closed, no mail delivery for a few days, things can't get back to normal until the snow melts.  Oh my!  We had a blast with it though. R loved playing in the snow and it was so refreshing to have a few days of playing in the white stuff.   And then we got a 2nd storm a few weeks later and got to do it all over again.  Such fun memories.  If only we could have a few snow days every year.  Apparently, this is a once every 3-4 years occurrence.
• I got sucked into spending too much time watching the Olympics.  That happens every time.  I loved that they were in Russia this time around.  It took me back to DH and my time there in 2011.  The culture and people were great to see.  I still think of some of those men and women we met quite frequently, and when I do, I pray for them and their ministry in Siberia.  So that was 2 weeks of staying up too late, being too tired, and watching too much TV.
• I participated in my 1st freezer meal workshop.  That was fun.  It was through Wildtree, a company that I just learned about, but already love.  Most of their products are certified organic and free of added preservatives and fillers.  I love that!  Fits so much of what I believe in (not always what I practice with cooking), but I so fell in love with the product that I'm thinking of signing up to be a representative just so I can get the 20% discount.  ha, ha.  It is a multi-level marketing company, and I said I would NEVER join one of those, but it is only $50 to sign up.  Still thinking about it as I have so many areas I'm passionate about but never enough time to pursue them all.
• I started taking R to a twice a month Montessori play group.  It's been really good to learn from someone who is trained in Montessori as opposed to me just reading books and blogs about it.  She is little Miss Independent, often wanting to be a helped with everything I do.  Montessori embraces this little helper/independent learner idea, so it's been a good fit.  Like everything, I'm not 100% on board with it all, but it's been great for her to play with other items and kids at the play group.  We meet at a library and the teacher sets up all the little stations for the kids to work.  R usually runs around dumping everything out, but she'll get the hang of it eventually.  ha, ha.
• In-laws- we enjoyed a visit from the in-laws (FIL, MIL, and SIL) to celebrate DH's 40th birthday.  It was nice to have them finally visit us in "new to us" home.  Oh man though...I have a husband who is 40?!?  That makes me feel so old. Glad they were able to come celebrate, but not enjoying the feeling old part.

• We celebrated Chinese New Year with Chinese food...like we do every year since I lived in China.  This year is the year of the horse...my year!  So that means I am either 12, 24, 36, 48, or 60 this year...take your pick.  It was so funny while I was teaching in China, my middle school students would always ask me what my sign (ie. zodiak sign) was.  I'd always tell them I was a horse, and then they'd talk about the good characteristics of a horse, etc.  But what I think they were really doing was asking about my age.  They all know the order of the animals and it's a 12 year cycle, so you can figure out someone's age pretty quickly that way.

Well, I think that sums up February. I'll try to be back with March soon.  In the meantime, Happy Holy week to you all.  It's hardly felt like Lent to me at all.  Praying this week is different.

2014 Goals

Quick....before any more of 2014 flies by (yikes!), here are the goals I wrote down at the beginning of January.  Where that month went...I have no idea!

Now I think I mentioned in the last post, that I don't usually set goals or make resolutions at the beginning of the year, though I do like the "newness" that comes with turning the calendar to January.  For whatever reason, this year I decided I needed to write down some goals I'd like to accomplish and DH joined in with his own set of goals.  Perhaps it's all the time I feel like I waste each day or the realization that R is growing up all too quickly, but I decided I needed to change how I spent my time.  I want to be more intentional spending time with things that are most important to me- my faith, my family, and my health.  My goals, therefore, are a reflection of those things that are important and what I hope to strive for with them.

Here's the short version:

Personal
A: exercise- 2-3 times a week
B: food- cut out sugar and gluten for 3 months and re-evaluate health (maybe dairy too)
C: reading- reading 10-12 books this year
D: spiritual- spend 15-30 minutes of daily time in the Word

Marriage
E: encouragement- encourage/validate DH's opinions at least once a day
F: intentional time- "date" time once a week

Parenting
G: learning activities- 1 planned learning activity a day
H: spiritual activities- daily focused prayer (5+ minutes) for R and my parenting
I: physical activities- seek resources and support (friends, books, blogs, groups)

And here's my commentary on each item:

A: This really seems like a wimpy goal when I write it down.  I mean, I'd like to write down exercise 5-6 times a week like I was doing before R came along.  Exercise is what I need to feel better about myself, de-stress, wake up in the afternoon, and keep my weight in check/lose weight because of PCOS.  The reality is, however, that I'm getting almost no exercise at the moment because I get so depressed about not being able to go more often like I used to, that I don't go at all.  Make sense?  No.  It doesn't really to me either, but that's why this goal is realistic.  Once it gets nice out and we can go walking again, perhaps I will be able to exercise 5-6 times a week, but for now, I'd like to get my lazy bum to the gym 2-3 times.

B: This one is hard.  I've tried to start it a few times this month, and have only made it a few days.  I guess my motivation was so much higher we were TTC, and now I just opt for whatever is easiest or fastest to make at home.  And that almost always involves gluten or dairy.  Maybe I will try to give it up again during Lent.  I know I need to in order to see if I feel better, can lost a little weight, and reduce possible inflammation in my body.

C: This one I'm super excited about.  I love reading books, but it seems like I buy more than I read lately.  I decided that is going to end this year, and I'm going to start reading some of those books off my shelves.  I have a stack that I would like to attack this year, but I also want to be open to the Spirit if there's another book that I should be reading, so I'm not going to post my whole list for the year.  Right now DH and I are reading through "Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess" and it has given us lots to talk about in simplifying our life. 

D: This doesn't sound like much, and with my study of the book of Matthew this year, I do spend about this much time in the Word, but I want to really study the Bible and be open to God speaking to me through it, not just read, reflect, and answer questions like it's on my to-do list.  Does that make sense?  I want to sit and be present with the Word, but not rush through a devotional reading or Bible study to quick, hurry up and get on to the next thing.  So we'll see how this goes!

E: This one sounds easy too, but it's an area that I continually need to work on with DH.  A lot of times I can come across too strongly with my opinion, so I need to acknowledge that his point of view has worth and merit, even if I don't agree with it. 

F: Our date times are more date ins lately, which is just fine with us.  Time together and a movie, or dinner and games.  It doesn't matter, but I need to be better about setting aside intentional time for us each week.  We had scheduled one particular night of the week for this, but then other things got in the way, etc., so we're trying to figure out what will work best.

G: I really want to try and start some sort of intentional learning with R.  Her learning capacity amazes me already.  I want to nurture that sense of curiosity and intellectual growth more, so I've started thinking about some sort of "tot school" activities.  Have you heard of that?  I came across this fabulous blog with so much information about homeschooling your toddler.  And while I have no intentional of homeschooling R during the elementary and beyond years, I do think she would benefit from a little bit of structured learning time at home with me.  I'm not talking a lot...maybe 20-30 minutes a day to begin with. 

I originally thought I'd just start with letters and focus on one letter a week for 26 weeks, but then I came across these resources and then this other curriculum (Before Five in a Row) that is all literature based, so you focus on one book a week and all your activities go around that.  R loves reading, so that may be the route I go.  I like the Before Five in a Row book because it gives you ideas, but it's not too much. It's simple and a place to start, which is all I think I want/need.  I also have "The Joyful Child" and was hoping to incorporate some Montessori techniques into our every day household life, but that would require me actually working my way through reading the book, huh? (See Goal C- that book is next on my list!)

H: I really feel it's important I spend time praying for R each day- her faith, her future husband and his faith, for God to use her mightily for His Kingdom, etc.  DH and I pray for some of these things each night, but I sort of feel like I can be praying for her throughout the day as I'm with her.  Likewise, I know I need to also pray for my parenting- that God would give me the wisdom, patience, energy, etc. to be the best parent I can be.  It is hard and challenging at times, and I often fail miserably or lose my cool. I don't know what I'm doing as a parent half the time, but I want to be the mom that gives and practices forgiveness, that loves unconditionally (as best I can as a sinful being), etc.  Prayer is the only way I'll be able to get to this point.

I: This goal is probably the least defined, but I still wanted to add it to the list because it is important to create a support network of Christian parents that I can observe and learn from.  I didn't have that growing up, so it is extremely helpful to get ideas and support from those who are living their faith in their families and with their children.  Not sure of what form this one will take, but we'll see as the year goes on.

Phew...so there ya have it.  My goals for the year, well, next 11 months now!  Some may change as time goes on, I'm not exactly sure, but it's easier to keep focused if I have them written down.

The Storm Inside Webcast: Coming Soon

I was going through my inbox cleaning out emails, when I realized I hadn't read this one I received from Women of Faith.  Sorry for the late notice, but I thought I'd post it anyways in case anyone wants to tune into the webcast tomorrow.  I did read that the videos will be available during the whole 5 weeks, so if you miss tomorrow, you can still watch the video.

The theme of the webcast is "Trade the chaos of how you feel for the truth of who you are."  Sounds interesting to me.  There always seems to be chaos in our lives no matter what age or stage we are at.  For me, I know the chaos can threaten to derail or discourage my faith walk, which in turn, effects so many other areas of my life. 

I'm not super familiar with the women speakers, so I can't vouch for their beliefs, theological background, etc but I figure God can speak through a multitude of Christian women to meet me where I'm at and speak to my heart.

Here's the link.  Let me know if you tune in and what you think.  I'll do the same.

Goodbye 2013, Hello 2014.

Oh my goodness!  Is it already the middle of January?  Yikes!  I had the intent of writing this post shortly after the New Year, but as you can see, that did not happen.  But "better late than never" seems to be my mantra.

I hope y'all had a nice Christmas!  Ours was not what I expected, but that was due to me being sick with the flu for 2 weeks prior to Christmas and then finding out R had a double ear infection shortly after Christmas.  Talk about weeks of sickness draining our energy.  At least we were able to have lots of quality family time after Christmas as DH took a week off of work.  We had planned to travel North, but given how yucky 2 of the 3 of us were feeling, we opted to stay home, lay low, and unpack more boxes from the basement.  Sounds thrilling, huh?  It actually was more fun than I'm making it out to be:-)

And then it's hard to believe it's 2014.  I didn't realize how ready I was to turn the calendar to a new year until I did it.  I'm sort of glad to put 2013 behind us as it was a hard year.  Not hard like some of the years filled with IF and miscarriage, but hard because of all the change for me.  Change is hard for me to begin with, and 2013 was filled with so many big changes- the total uprooting of our lives from the West, the move to the rental house and all the "fun" that house brought, buying a house (the 1st time we did so together), moving into our house, and then starting to get settled.  Add to all of that trying to build a new support network from scratch, trying to make myself feel at home within a new church community, trying to find friends with similar interests, adjusting to being a stay-at-home-mom, and learning (yet again) that I know very little about parenting.

***Now I need to make a side comment here to acknowledge that there were many joys in 2013 that I'm failing to mention (the great joy of seeing R grow from a baby to a toddler, welcoming a new SIL into the family with my brother's marriage, many expressions of love and care from others, trips, etc.  I do know there were good things in 2013, but when I look at the year as a whole, "change" is the word that comes to mind.***

And so, here I am, one year later...a resident of the South and still getting used to so many things here.  But I feel much calmer and more settled than I did in 2013, and I like that feeling quite a bit more than the other.  Sure, there's still more that I'd like to do and have done in the house, but we have time for that.  There's no real rush like we felt at times house hunting.

So when I turned to 2014, I could almost feel myself letting out a huge sigh of relief that I hadn't realized I'd been holding in.  It was like...phew.  Fresh start, here I come.  There's just something about a new year that breeds hope in my heart.

And it was full of that hope that DH and I set out making goals for ourselves for 2014.  This isn't something we've done before, but with some prompting from me, he agreed to try it.  And I think we're both excited about it.  We took time to write down our own goals and then shared them for accountability.  I'm feeling really good about the things I'd like to focus on for the year and accomplish and the attitude and outlook I'd like to have with them.  I feel like all of the complaining/down moods don't accomplish much, and I'm tired of doing that same old thing...so change is in store.  Can you believe it...me talking about and wanting change?!?  Sort of ironic given 2013, huh?  Makes me chuckle. 

I've got plans to be a better wife and parent, to exercise more, to eat less of certain items, and to read more books.  I'll share all the specifics with you in another post, but for now I've got to run and get ready for company that's coming tomorrow morning.  My brother and SIL...the first of hopefully a long list of guests to stay in our home...our Southern home!

Quick Takes (42): Remember me?

I actually wrote these on Thursday night and then forgot to post them or schedule the post.  Oops!  I hope you don't mind me posting them late.

--- 1 ---

Oh my goodness!  Where does the time go?  I can't believe it's been close to 2 months since I last typed a few words.  Thanks to two lovely ladies for reaching out and checking in with me to make sure I was ok.  Seriously, how awesome is that?  Two total strangers that I've never met before email to see how my appointment went and how I'm doing.  Thanks for making me feel loved.

--- 2 ---

October was a hard month.  My appointment with the new Napro dr did not go well.  I've got to finish the blog post so you can hear what she had to say and give advice on how to proceed, but basically I don't think she and I will be a good fit long-term.  So that sort of put me into a bit of a depressed state.  I was so certain things were going to go well and that this was going to be the start of getting me back on track health and fertility wise.  I've gained 5 pounds since the appointment and have hardly been to the gym, so the opposite effect happened.

--- 3 ---

November was a long month.  R came down with a nasty cold that she passed onto me.  It lingered around for 9 days and then re-surfaced as a sinus infection in me.  Then R came down with another (or the same) cold.  Oh my goodness!  It was about 3 weeks of non-stop sickness in our house.  Not fun at all.  That really zapped my energy on top of the already down mood I was feeling.

--- 4 ---

Thankfully, we were all healthy by Thanksgiving time!  If you remember back to previous years, we have always hosted people at our home since we can't travel to be with family.  Usually, it was my international students experiencing the holiday and meal for the 1st time.  I loved sharing our traditions with them and interacting outside of the classroom.  Occasionally, we'd have some college students from church over if they couldn't travel home either.  DH and I have such a good time hosting.  We tried to find people to invite over this year and couldn't.  Either we didn't hear about those that needed a place to go or everyone truly did have plans, but it was just the 3 of us this year.  At first, I was sad and missing our previous connections with people, but then I decided a nice, low-key Thanksgiving was just fine for this year.  We didn't even get a whole turkey; we just settled for a turkey tenderloin (which R loved, by the way).

--- 5 ---

And then the rush hit after Thanksgiving...preparing for Advent and Christmas.  We did get our tree up and lights on it and our Advent calendar out, but otherwise we haven't finished decorating yet and I'm still working furiously to get our cards out since most people don't have our new address yet.  And I'm sort of nervous to continue unpacking everything because we haven't gone through those boxes thoroughly since we moved (Christmas last year we were still out West).  Sort of sad to think about.  I'm still missing my friends, the mountains, our church, and my colleagues.  Adjusting and change are so hard for me.

--- 6 ---

It probably doesn't help my adjustment factor since it's 70+ degrees today, rainy, and humid beyond all get out.  I was in a t-shirt today I was so warm.  This is not the December I am used to.  It should be cold and snowy during Advent.  How can I listen to Christmas songs about sleigh bells and snow and fireplaces when I have the a/c on in my car?!?  This weather is for the birds.  And seriously....we are still raking leaves we have so many trees.  It's really been a challenge for me to get into the Advent/Christmas spirit when this is so foreign to me.  I am so out of my element and comfort zone. And I realize as I type this many of you are covered under layers of snow or ice and cold.  One of my friends commented that we always want what we don't have.  Isn't that so true?  I guess I will know what to expect next Advent and can be better prepared, and I can start thinking now about the true meaning of the season that does not depend on the weather outside.

--- 7 ---

And finally, we have little Miss Escape Artist in our house.  One day shy of 19 months and she gets out of her crib on her own.  She woke up in the morning, we heard a thud, and then she shut off her monitor.  I go in to get her and she's standing at the door.  Oh boy, she is keeping us on our toes.  Thankfully, she was not harmed, but we knew she'd be trying that trick again before too long.  I think we've worked out a temporary solution by removing the springs and just setting the mattress on the floor inside the crib sides, but the act left me scrambling to try and track down the rails and kit to convert her crib to a toddler bed.  Wouldn't you know it, some of the pieces are no longer available (we bought the crib less than 2 years ago)?!?

The good news is she has been sleeping through the night now since we did sleep re-training (did I tell you we had to re-train overnight sleep things had gotten so bad after our FL trip?)  We are only a few weeks in again, but she's consistently sleeping through the night and napping well.  For this reason, we are not ready for a toddler bed yet!

And I've got a bunch more things I could add, but maybe I'll save that for a post for next week:-)  A happy and blessed Advent to you all as we await the birth of our Savior.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Starting Over: Part 1

I'm a little slow in getting this post out, but we had the opportunity to tag along with DH to FL last week for a conference.  It was a lot of time in the car with a little girl who came down with a virus shortly after we left, which meant I spent a lot of time with her in the hotel room watching TV while they were doing construction in the rooms right below ours.  Not exactly my idea of the fun trip we had in mind when planning it, but so be it.  Then it was back home and getting her back into her sleep routine.  It took 5 long nights to get her sleeping through the night again and napping well.  So weird that only 4 nights away threw her sleep so out of whack.

Anyway, that is not the point of my post.  The point of my post is starting over, which in many ways is what it feels like I'm having to do with my fertility health.  I recently had an appointment with a new Napro Dr in my area.  I was really hoping I would connect with her, like her proposed treatment plan, and I'd be off and running with my charting and what not.  I was given the heads up by a lovely blogger (you know who you are) that this "Napro" Dr may not be up to date.  I was appreciative for the information ahead of time because it helped me think through questions I wanted to ask in feeling this doctor out.

But before I continue...I should back up.  Some of you may remember that I continued Creighton charting all throughout this last pregnancy.  I don't really know why, except perhaps I didn't think this pregnancy (#3) would make it all the way to the end given my 2 previous miscarriages.  As time progressed, I continued to keep up with my chart because it was a convenient way to keep track of progesterone levels, when I was due for my next PIO shots, etc.  But after R arrived, I stopped charting.  I was burnt out, couldn't think straight from lack of sleep, and didn't want the added pressure of having to remember my mucus observations throughout the day.  I could hardly remember what time I last fed R much less something throughout the whole day (I could have written it down, yes I realize this, but laziness often gets the best of me at times).

As more time passed, I had to admit that it was really nice not to chart.  I could race into the bathroom and race out without all the steps for observing mucus.   Plus, I really wasn't concerned about my cycle, getting pregnant, etc.  I assumed I'd have cycle difficulties (thanks, PCOS) and never dreamed we'd "accidentally" get pregnant given the years it took to get to R.  So I was living in a blissful, non-charting world.  I could just ignore the fact my cycle hadn't returned (I am still breastfeeding) and ignore any hints of suspected health problems if I didn't have a chart of information, right?

Well, after I weaned R from nursing overnight, I started getting major PMS.  I would just rage at DH, chew him a new one, and just not be pleasant to be around.  I figured my hormones were probably doing something, but I still had little motivation to chart or take my BBT as I'd been doing when I charted.

I knew I should probably buck up and start to get my health under control, so I can be a better wife and mom.  I need to get back to exercising, watching what I eat, and charting.  Yes, I had to admit that in order to get healthy, it was best if I started charting again.  I figured making an appointment with a new Dr. would give me some motivation to start charting again, and it did.  Oh, making the appt. AND my cycle returning 6 days before my appt. gave me motivation  How's that for timing, huh?  After 2+ years without a cycle, it came back 2 months after night-weaning and a week before my appt.  Funny, huh?

Sidenote: It did make me a little sad to think that I could have been pregnant in September again- blissfully, surprisingly, unplanned pregnant.  That would have been nice.  If you've been following my story, you'll know we found out about pregnancy #1 in Sept. 2009, #2 Sept. 2010, and #3 (R) Sept. 2011.  I don't know what it is with Sept. but this could have been #4 Sept. 2013.  But of course to get pregnant, it's good to have lots of Is on your charts, and that's a story for another day of how I'm such a bad, exhausted, crabby, tired wife.

Anyway, my cycle returning right before my appt gave me hope.  It was a beautiful cycle....like probably how a cycle should be if you don't have PCOS or other hormone issues.  Maybe this is what a "normal" person's cycle is like every month?  I have no idea, but it was beautiful.  And it gave me hope that maybe my body can do something right (ovulate) each month.

I started charting with the return of my cycles, am taking my BBT, and had my list of questions to ask the new Dr.  I was nervous about meeting her, but filled with hope and peace.  DH had a good feeling that I would like her and I did too.  The next post will tell you about how that appt went since this is much longer than anticipated.  Apparently, I felt the need to paint the whole picture before getting to the point of the original post!