Quick takes (34): House and One Year

--- 1 ---

So many thoughts today....let's start with the house first.  We had the inspection yesterday, and just as I suspected, there's a lot that needs to be repaired or replaced.  The list from the inspector is long and mainly filled with "smaller" items...no GFCI (grounding outlet) in the kitchen, a leak in the jacuzzi bathtub, no optical sensors on the garage doors, rusted chimney cap, furnaces need servicing, etc.  All those smaller items will add up though, I'm sure of it.  We would need to hire a handyman, a plumber, an electrician, a HVAC professional, a tree trimmer, a painter, and maybe that would cover it.

--- 2 ---

It's not the small list that overwhelms, however.  It's the longer list of items that are ok now, but will probably need attention in the next 1-5 years.  The house was built in 1991, and it has a lot of original items- both furnaces, one a/c unit, oven, cooktop, etc. 22 year old furnaces and air conditioners don't excite me much.  Add to that a tree that needs to be taken down in front because it's cracked the sidewalk and driveway and then repair to the sidewalk and driveway...painting the siding...replacing a deck...replacing a retaining wall...new garage doors....and a new roof in 6-10 years.  Now all of a sudden we're looking at needing a lot of cash to repair those items. 

--- 3 ---

And that's where I really struggle.  I'm the "money person" in our family.  I make us budget.  I pay the bills.  I keep track of finances.  I save for emergencies.  I save for retirement.  I tithe.  My DH goes along with it all and agrees we should do it, but I am the one to make all those things happen and am definitely the one concerned about money. I know we can afford the house. We ran the numbers last night for all of our projected expenses with the house.  I called to get ballpark numbers for the utilities, we know the property taxes, the insurance, the HOA, and the mortgage payment.  We know our monthly expenses and yearly expenses (broken down monthly).  We also know what we want to save and give.  And I'm afraid it's not being a good steward to take on a house of this size and purchase price knowing all of the things that could (and most likely will) go wrong while we are in it.  We're not super frivolous with our spending, but I don't want to get to the point where I have to count pennies or consider going back to work.  I just don't feel that's where I've been called to serve my family at this point.  But then I've been contrasting that with trusting God to take care of us and provide all of our needs....and where do you draw the line between trusting and being a good steward?  I feel like we're entering into unsafe waters.

--- 4 ---

I'm afraid of what's going to happen.  We know the sellers have to bring cash to the closing and our agent thinks they aren't going to budge on price or repair much or at all.  That's really not our problem (I don't mean to sound rude- just stating facts), but I guess our agent is trying to prepare us for the worst case scenario.  It looks like we will most likely have to walk away from the house.  DH and I want to give the sellers a chance to respond to the inspection report, but our due-diligence period ends on Monday.  We've already put over 1,000 into the house with the inspection, appraisal, and land survey.  We would lose all of that, but could still get our earnest money check back (1% of purchase price) if we walk by Monday or can't come to an agreement.  Ugh.  So emotional, overwhelming, and time and energy consuming all at the same time!

--- 5 ---

Now on to brighter thoughts.  What I really want to be doing this week and weekend is celebrating a special little girl's 1st birthday!  I can't stop thinking about how quickly she came into the world and how quickly a year has passed.  Do I really have a one year old.  She's almost no longer a baby but soon to be toddler.  I feel like my excitement has been so tempered by the stress of all the house stuff, and for that I'm disappointed in myself.  We're having a little party tomorrow, so that should be fun, but none of our family will be present, which makes me sad.  That's the reality and hard part about living so far away from family and having families that don't like to get on a plane much and travel.  Maybe that will change when R gets older, but for now, it is what it is.  So I'm thankful for my BFF and her family- husband, kids, and her parents.  They will be our "family" for the party tomorrow.

--- 6 ---

Celebrations are tempered a bit by the weather....cold and rain!  So much for our outdoor grilling tomorrow.  I realize I could be experiencing snow like my parents and some of you, so I'll take the cold and rain  But R is also sick again with a snotty nose.  Her mood has been OK, but she's got so much thick congestion again.  I sure hope it's a cold and not another ear infection!  I do think it could be allergies because the pollen count is so high here, but people say allergies don't kick in later for babies.  We had to cancel her 1 year photos for the weekend as well on account of the above.  I've already learned that not much in parenting goes much like we plan.  What I haven't learned yet is exactly how to deal with those times of disappointments and not dwell on them.

--- 7 ---

We've also hit the one year mark for nursing!  Take that, dang PCOS!  I truly cannot believe I have nursed for a year.  At first, I just wanted to make it to 6 weeks.  Then I said I'd try for 3-6 months.  After I hit the 6 month mark, I said I'd just see what happened.  I always dreamed of making it to a year, but I was realistic about my hormone issues from PCOS.  I said I would try to nurse as long as I could, but I wasn't sure how long that would be, and I was ok with it.  How did I get to a year?....plain 'ol oatmeal every morning, lots and lots and lots of water throughout the day, some mother's milk tea here and there, and coconut oil every morning to fatten up my milk.  Wow.  And so where do I go from here?  I have no clue.  I never thought I would get here, so I don't have a plan.  R still nurses a lot (4-5 times during the day and 2-3 overnight), so I guess we just continue on until shown otherwise?

That's all.  We'll know more on Monday whether we have the house or not.  I'll let ya know more when I know more.

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