Blog Neglect and Praise Flower Pots

I'm so sorry, dear Readers, that I've neglected my blog so!  I was in Atlanta for 8 days last week visiting our 15 month-old goddaughter and her family (mom, dad, 4 year-old).  I had a great week and a very bittersweet Mother's Day spent with them. 

Now I'm back to work with the beginning of intensive summer classes.  Life is hectic.  I will blog about my trip when I get the chance to, and if you've sent me an email recently, thank you!  I will respond as soon as I can.

I'll leave you with something that makes me smile.  While in Atlanta, I picked up these solar-powered praise flower to put in my car and at home.  My friend had one in her car, and it just makes me smile. 

Here's the one I put in my car.  It says "peace" and has Isaiah 26:3 on it.  The leaves move up and down and the flower moves back and forth- almost like it's dancing or offering praises.

I got another one for our home and put it in our kitchen window.  This one says "love" and has 1 Corinthians 13:13 on it.

Aren't they the cutest?  They also had other pots that said pray, hope, and friend.  I bought a bunch to give away as gifts, and the best part is they were only $5.  If you have a Family Christian bookstore near you, check them out!  ***Update- Good news!  You can also buy them online.  Go here to order.

May 15th marked another memory verse for the Scripture Challenge I'm doing this year.  I choose this one:  Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise- the fruit of lips that confess his name.   Hebrews 13:15

It goes along with my praise flower pots and I love the idea of a "sacrifice of praise."  Because of what Jesus has done for me, I should praise Him daily, but because of my sinful nature (my desires, wants, attitudes, judgements, my hurts, etc.), I sometimes don't feel like offering praise- especially going through infertility!  Sometimes it is hard to offer praise, and that's where the sacrifice comes in- I sacrifice my sinful human nature give praise to God for what He has done in sending His Son.

An Update and the Latest Memory Verse

Life has been busy! Have you noticed by my lack of posting?  I'm in final exam week of the term and so ready to be done.  I'm just feeling so tired and worn out in so many different areas- physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  I have next week off and then summer classes start May 16th already.  Summer classes are short and intense and then I'll have the rest of the summer off, but I'm really wishing I had a longer break now to recharge  on.

I'm spending my week off in Atlanta visiting a dear friend and her family.  We are godparents to her daughter who is now 15 months old and we last saw her at 6 weeks old.  It is definitely time for a visit!  I know the week will be good and it's always so fun to spend time with her as they really live their faith as a family every day of the week.  I always come back with so many ideas on how I want to raise our family in Christ.

May 1st marked another memory verse selection for me and the verse I chose for the next 2 weeks was Deuteronomy 31: 8- The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

I love the image of God going before me- He's already in my tomorrow and yet He's also with me today.  He is the God of my future and the God of my today.  And I like the end about not being discouraged as I've felt really discouraged lately about my health (more details on that coming soon).  I feel like I'm going backwards with my doctor, treatment plan, etc. and I'm turning 33 this summer.  Yikes!  My faith in God growing our family is definitely filled with discouragement and fear, so this verse is a much needed reminder for me at the moment that God is here and God is there already.  There's no need to fear.

Time For Another Verse

I can't believe it's March 1st already.  Time is flying this term as we're already at the midway point.  Since it's the first of the month, it also means I had to pick another Bible verse to meditate on for the coming two weeks.  I really am loving this Bible challange because it forces me to think on things from God, and not my own troubles, worries, rants, judgements, etc.  I'm not saying I've perfected my thoughts so that they are always godly, but I am noticing a much improved change so far. 

I picked this great gem from Ephesians 3:20-21: "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."   NIV

I love the beginning of these verses.  It's such a great reminder to me that God can do immeasurably more than I can even ask Him for or imagine from Him.  Immeasurably more.  So much more that I can't even measure it. That is the kind of God I want to believe in and follow.  And then I love the reminder about His power that is at work within me- through the Holy Spirit I presume.  And then the end gives me a reminder of my purpose- for God's glory over all time on the earth.

What hope that gives me.  I want God to do immeasurably more in my life.  And while I may not be able to clearly see that right now in the midst of my health problems, miscarriages, and infertility, I still believe that He can and will do so much more than I can even ask or think about.  And boy am I looking forward to the time in my life when all of this will be in the past and I'll be able to look back on this time period and see how God worked in his immeasurably more way!

4th Memory Verse

Since it's the 15th of the month already, it's time for another memory verse.  The one I picked this time is a reminder I need for myself, and a humbling of my being as well.

From Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.  "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Ever since sister-in-law's pregnancy announcement, I've had a really hard time.  My thoughts show that I think I know more than God, and I really need a humbling of attitude right now and a reminder that I am not God and cannot fully understand Him or His ways.  God's ways and thoughts are so much larger than my measly human thoughts on what I think He should be doing in my life right now.  There is comfort in the God of the heavens whose ways and thoughts are higher than my own.

Chinese New Year and Bible Verse #3

Tonight the hubs and I celebrated Chinese New Year with takeout Chinese food- not exactly your authentic cuisine, but it was still good.  Ever since I lived in China, I've thought of the holiday and celebrated with Chinese food and sometimes Chinese clothing (I did wear a traditional Chinese shirt to work today and the students loved it).  My all time favorite Chinese New Year memory was when the hubs (then he was the boyfriend) came to visit- his first trip overseas- and we went to Hong Kong for the holiday.  We had friends staying on one of the top floors of the Peninsula Hotel- right on the harbor- and saw the most amazing fireworks in my life.  All of the buildings in the harbor were lit with lights and the fireworks came in all shapes and sizes- from numbers for the year to Chinese characters and more.  It was incredible.  I'd post pictures if I didn't have to scan them first:-)  Xin Nian Kuai Le (Happy New Year in Mandarin)!

On a different note, I realized that I didn't post my next Bible verse for memorization on Feb. 1st.  For the 2 verses in January, I really felt God had clearly put them before me to meditate on for two weeks.  This time around, I had a hard time picking one I felt I was being led to, so I had the hubs help.  Here's what I picked:

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."  Lamentations 3:22-24 ESV

Now I realize this is three verses and not one, but I'm not going for extra points.  The passage was just too good to separate.  I love how it focuses on God and and His love and mercies, and then I love the idea of our soul talking.  How cool is that?!?

And as my husband shared some of the context with me, Jeremiah was lamenting as he was watching all of Jerusalem and Israel be conquered and marched off into exile.  And he speaks these beautiful words about God and His mercy, when his people are being conquered.  What amazing faith he had and what a great example for us.  I'll be meditating on those words for the next two weeks.

Bible Verse #2

As I mentioned back in this post, I'm doing a Bible verse memorization challenge this year.  So far, I've really been enjoying focusing on one verse for two weeks at a time.  The Bible talks about taking our thoughts captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5- ...and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.) and it's amazing how true this is.  My thoughts can either completely destroy me because of their negativity (Why am I not pregnant yet?  It's unfair so and so is pregnant and not me.  Why do I have to deal with this lifelong disease?) or they can uplift and encourage me.  I'm trying to move my thoughts from the negative to the positive, and this is slowly happening as I meditate on one verse. 

The last two weeks it was John 14:27, and everytime I encountered a troubling situation or thought, I repeated the verse back to myself and reminded me it was words Jesus spoke to his disciples and He was still speaking them to me now- Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts and troubled and do not be afraid.  That was typed from memory, in case you were wondering:-)  I wasn't sure how the memorization thing would work, but by placing the verse on the mirror in the bathroom, at the kitchen table, and on my computer at work, it was readily viewable throughout my day and a visual reminder to me.

Yesterday was the 15th of the month, which meant it was time for a new verse.  I picked a short one, but it's a good reminder that my soul needs for these next two weeks.  From Psalm 130:5- I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. 

I've realized that the verses I pick focus my thoughts on things from God not man and remind me of what I may already know but lose sight of.  The last two weeks were hard with my husband gone for nearly all of the days, and I've been bombarded with pregnancy announcements.  All of my college friends and everyone that I know my age are now pregnant or with 1-3 kids.   It's been hard feeling like God has forgotten or abandoned us, yet I know that is not true because He continues to speak to me and be present in my life.  For whatever reason, I still feel like a healthy pregnancy is a ways off for us, and so this verse is a good reminder to me that I'm waiting on God's timing, not my own and His word is what gives me hope.  When I focus on those things, I am ok.  When I look around at the situations others are in and compare myself to them is when I become discontent or hope-less.

But for these next two weeks, I'm focusing on waiting for the LORD and putting my hope in His Word.

A Look Back at 2010 and A Look Ahead to 2011

2010 is a year that I will be happy to leave behind.  In my mind, it's just been marked with so much despair.  I took the time to reflect back on the year, however, and realized there actually were several high points to the year, I'd just focused on the negative points.

Here we go- my 2010 highlights list:

January- The hubs and I started off the New Year in Cancun.  Because he always has to work on Christmas, and because Advent is usually an extra busy time for him, we try to take a getaway of some sort each year.  I'm not usually a big fan of touristy Mexico, but we got a stellar deal and stayed away from the main downtown area.  We had a great trip- swimming in sinkholes, seeing Chitchen Itza, snorkeling, and just relaxing on the beach.

February- We got serious about financial planning and met with a fee-based financial planner.  Best decision ever.  He reviewed all of our financial stuff and gave us a comprehensive plan down to which mutual funds to buy.  His job isn't based on commission, so we got great, unbiased advice. 

March- We survived our first ever red-eye flight to Atlanta for the baptism of our goddaughter.  It was truly an honor to meet her (she was only 5 weeks old) and more importantly, be responsible for seeing that she is raised up in the Christian faith.

April/May- I finished my teaching term and we went into summer mode.  Had a mini-emotional breakdown in May as the due date (June 2nd) of our first baby approached.

June- We took a mini-getaway to a fabulous ski resort town where the hubs ran a half-marathon.  It was a bittersweet trip as it fell on the due date of our first baby.  I was glad we were out of town.
July- I taught summer classes and then members from each of our families came to visit.  We went to Jackson Hole and Yellowstone with my dad and brother.  We did local sightseeing with the hub's mother, sister, aunt, and cousin.

August- more visitors.  This time it's our small group of pastors and wives along with a missionary couple from Russia.  They come to town to help us plan our 2011 mission trip.  Lots of excitement and learning about Russia.  We also make a quick trip home to MN to visit my Grandparents.  They are 88 and doing well, but I want one visit with them to have Grandpa share WWII stories and have final memories in case it is the last visit.  In my heart, I say my goodbyes.

Also, I made the decision to transition from full-time to part-time work.  It was a tough decision as I always thought I'd work full-time until we had a child.  I'm still working 30+ hours a week, but I quickly realize it was the right decision.

September- Back to work in new P-T role.  Find out about our 2nd pregnancy, almost one year to the day of finding out about our 1st.  Tears of joy.  It ends before the month is even over.

October- Grandfather is diagnosed with Stage IV cancer and given 3-4 months to live.  I feel so good that we visited in August.  I'm diagnosed with first ever yeast infection- oh joy.

November- vaginal issues continue.  Lovely.  Several cycles without ovulation.  Grandfather dies quickly before we make it home for a visit again.  I'm devasted I'll never be able to introduce a child of ours to him.  Return to MN for funeral, Thanksgiving, and Uncle's wedding (he was hoping his dad would make it to see him get married).  Lots of emotions.

December- vaginal issues still continue.  It's clear, God, that this is another time you want me to wait.  I'm so frustrated with my body and all its crazy issues.  Start this blog!  Travel to Boise after Christmas to visit friends.

Again, it's really only the past few months that have been overwhelmingly hard.  I realize a lot of my situations are how I view them and deal with them.  I am ready to move forward in 2011 and feel so good about the fresh start that a New Year brings.  I've even set goals for 2011, something that I hardly ever do.  Some of my goals are not smart (specific, measurable, attainable, etc.), but I'm ok with that.  The point is I have things I want to accomplish and am going to work towards them.

2011 goals
1. Memorize 24 Bible verses.
2. Lose 5-10 pounds.
3. Eat more fruits and vegetables.
4. Learn to sew and/or knit.
5. Be a better wife.
6. Figure out a time for personal worship during the week and a format.

The one I'm most excited about is memorizing 24 Bible verses.  It's so strange, but I don't think I've ever been this excited about memorizing scripture.  In fact, probably the last time I had to memorize something from the Bible was in Midweek or Confirmation many years ago.  Beth Moore, an amazing women's ministry Bible leader, is the one who put forth the challenge.  More info can be found here and here.  Basically, you choose a verse to mediate upon for 2 weeks.  The one I choose for the first two weeks in January is:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.    John 14:27 NIV

I came across the verse in my daily devotional reading and it nearly brought me to tears because I realized how my heart was troubled and afraid.  I was not at peace.  I decided that needed to change and was not where God wanted me, so I'm meditating on those beautiful words from Jesus and praying for another year lived in the Lord.  I don't know what 2011 will bring and I have fears surrounding if I'll get pregnant again and what the outcome might be and if we're going to be moving soon (more about that later).  But the God I believe in knows what 2011 will bring and therefore, I will trust in Him today and try not to think about tomorrow.