2010 is a year that I will be happy to leave behind. In my mind, it's just been marked with so much despair. I took the time to reflect back on the year, however, and realized there actually were several high points to the year, I'd just focused on the negative points.
Here we go- my 2010 highlights list:
January- The hubs and I started off the New Year in Cancun. Because he always has to work on Christmas, and because Advent is usually an extra busy time for him, we try to take a getaway of some sort each year. I'm not usually a big fan of touristy Mexico, but we got a stellar deal and stayed away from the main downtown area. We had a great trip- swimming in sinkholes, seeing Chitchen Itza, snorkeling, and just relaxing on the beach.
February- We got serious about financial planning and met with a fee-based financial planner. Best decision ever. He reviewed all of our financial stuff and gave us a comprehensive plan down to which mutual funds to buy. His job isn't based on commission, so we got great, unbiased advice.
March- We survived our first ever red-eye flight to Atlanta for the baptism of our goddaughter. It was truly an honor to meet her (she was only 5 weeks old) and more importantly, be responsible for seeing that she is raised up in the Christian faith.
April/May- I finished my teaching term and we went into summer mode. Had a mini-emotional breakdown in May as the due date (June 2nd) of our first baby approached.
June- We took a mini-getaway to a fabulous ski resort town where the hubs ran a half-marathon. It was a bittersweet trip as it fell on the due date of our first baby. I was glad we were out of town.
July- I taught summer classes and then members from each of our families came to visit. We went to Jackson Hole and Yellowstone with my dad and brother. We did local sightseeing with the hub's mother, sister, aunt, and cousin.
August- more visitors. This time it's our small group of pastors and wives along with a missionary couple from Russia. They come to town to help us plan our 2011 mission trip. Lots of excitement and learning about Russia. We also make a quick trip home to MN to visit my Grandparents. They are 88 and doing well, but I want one visit with them to have Grandpa share WWII stories and have final memories in case it is the last visit. In my heart, I say my goodbyes.
Also, I made the decision to transition from full-time to part-time work. It was a tough decision as I always thought I'd work full-time until we had a child. I'm still working 30+ hours a week, but I quickly realize it was the right decision.
September- Back to work in new P-T role. Find out about our 2nd pregnancy, almost one year to the day of finding out about our 1st. Tears of joy. It ends before the month is even over.
October- Grandfather is diagnosed with Stage IV cancer and given 3-4 months to live. I feel so good that we visited in August. I'm diagnosed with first ever yeast infection- oh joy.
November- vaginal issues continue. Lovely. Several cycles without ovulation. Grandfather dies quickly before we make it home for a visit again. I'm devasted I'll never be able to introduce a child of ours to him. Return to MN for funeral, Thanksgiving, and Uncle's wedding (he was hoping his dad would make it to see him get married). Lots of emotions.
December- vaginal issues still continue. It's clear, God, that this is another time you want me to wait. I'm so frustrated with my body and all its crazy issues. Start this blog! Travel to Boise after Christmas to visit friends.
Again, it's really only the past few months that have been overwhelmingly hard. I realize a lot of my situations are how I view them and deal with them. I am ready to move forward in 2011 and feel so good about the fresh start that a New Year brings. I've even set goals for 2011, something that I hardly ever do. Some of my goals are not smart (specific, measurable, attainable, etc.), but I'm ok with that. The point is I have things I want to accomplish and am going to work towards them.
2011 goals
1. Memorize 24 Bible verses.
2. Lose 5-10 pounds.
3. Eat more fruits and vegetables.
4. Learn to sew and/or knit.
5. Be a better wife.
6. Figure out a time for personal worship during the week and a format.
The one I'm most excited about is memorizing 24 Bible verses. It's so strange, but I don't think I've ever been this excited about memorizing scripture. In fact, probably the last time I had to memorize something from the Bible was in Midweek or Confirmation many years ago. Beth Moore, an amazing women's ministry Bible leader, is the one who put forth the challenge. More info can be found here and here. Basically, you choose a verse to mediate upon for 2 weeks. The one I choose for the first two weeks in January is:
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27 NIV
I came across the verse in my daily devotional reading and it nearly brought me to tears because I realized how my heart was troubled and afraid. I was not at peace. I decided that needed to change and was not where God wanted me, so I'm meditating on those beautiful words from Jesus and praying for another year lived in the Lord. I don't know what 2011 will bring and I have fears surrounding if I'll get pregnant again and what the outcome might be and if we're going to be moving soon (more about that later). But the God I believe in knows what 2011 will bring and therefore, I will trust in Him today and try not to think about tomorrow.
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