Help is on the Way!

Yes, you read that correctly...help is coming my way.  After 9 days....9 long, full days of being a single parent to my little 7 week old, the end is in sight.  DH's aunt and cousin are still coming, and they arrive tonight.  TONIGHT!  As in a few more hours.  The funeral for his great-uncle was Monday morning and they left yesterday afternoon to make the drive out.

I'm so excited.  I didn't really think they would be coming so soon; I had geared up to be alone until Friday night.  I can't wait to see them and have two extra adults in the house to hold the baby and cook food.  Like real food!  No more leftovers or freezer meals for me.  And people to talk with and respond to me using words.

I know I could have lasted until DH comes home, but it is so nice not to have to.  I'm looking forward to introducing R. to them, to getting a nap in during the daytime where I'm not laying on the couch next to her swing and listening to all her baby sounds while she sleeps, and I hope to make it back to the gym this week since my membership came off of medical hold and I'm paying for it again.

But I'll be honest...I'm actually a little bit sad.  Crazy, I know.  But it will no longer be just the two of us. R and I have had some amazing bonding time these past several days.  I can honestly say that I am happy I had to go through so many days with her alone.  Yes, it was extremely hard and there were times I would cry because I was so tired, but I feel like such a better mother to her because of it.  I sort of think of it like being thrown into the "fire of parenting."  I didn't want to be thrown into the fire, but am so much stronger having come out of that fire.

Before DH left, I was really relying on him as the main parent because he had so much more experience with newborns than my zero experience with them.  I let him help out a lot with feedings, burping, diaper changes, etc.  And this was all fine and dandy for those first few weeks, but I began relying too much on him, so that his work was suffering some because he didn't want to leave me alone with her too long.  Granted, I was sick myself and recovering some in there, but still, I was lacking as R's mother.

The first 24 hours alone with her were hard.  She probably detected that her Daddy was gone and her Mommy was stressed, but then I started following my motherly instincts, and without even knowing it, developed a routine with her that kept her content and virtually cry-free the entire time!  I only realize it now looking back.  Her periods of fussiness and intense crying are almost gone.  Whether that's something she's grown out of or can be attributed to my time with her, I don't know for sure, but I suspect it's because of the routine.  She knows when she wakes up and cries I will change her and feed her.  Then we have play time in her bouncy seat.  Sometimes I play with her and sometimes she plays alone for a bit.  When I see she's getting tired (yawns, staring off into the distance), I start working to get her asleep.  And it works!  Most of the time she falls asleep without fussing.  I've learned to read her cues.  Even I'm a little amazed/surprised at that.

And we've had fun times together too.  She's started making different cooing sounds and even two syllable sounds.  She smiles regularly at me now and even started laughing this past week.  She's even laughed in her sleep on a few occasions, which is hilarious.  She's helpful when I'm changing her diaper by not squirming much and even keeping her legs raised so I can clean her bottom (that cracks me up).  She slept for 5 1/2 hours the past two nights.  She regularly takes one long (3ish hours) nap in the morning and/or afternoon.  She has become such a good-natured baby, and I have fallen in love with her even more than when she was first born.  All our bonding time together has enabled me to do that, and I'm truly thankful for that time.

I told DH he was going to have to watch out because he was going to have to follow my routine with R when he came home.  He said he was ok with that, but we'll see how she does upon his return.  She did gain about a pound since he was gone, so she's going to look different.  She now has a little pudge on her thighs and arms.  It's so cute!  She's still long and skinny, but the baby fat is coming.

Look at those precious toes.  I just love her feet.  Her toes (and fingers) are so long.  She must get that from her Daddy.

She loves her birds on her Snugabunny swing.  She watches them, talks to them, and still is mesmerized by them.  I love watching her watch them.

Making silly faces at Mommy.

I'd share more pictures with you from this week, but I don't know how to get them off of my new phone at the moment.  Ah, well.  I love that girl.  Sometimes I can't lay down for a nap because I'm just watching her sleep.  She is so stinking cute.

Now off to feed her and try to get a shower in before our company arrives.  Woo hoo!

Surviving ***Updated

Yep, we are surviving over here.  I haven't pulled out all my hair or gone crazy yet.  My sanity is still intact (I believe) after 6 days home alone with a 6, now 7 week old, baby!  That is amazing.  After the 1st night and 1st day alone with her, I wasn't sure what the outcome would be.  I had a majorly fussy baby on my hands 24/7 that first part.

Now granted, I'm not trying to win any mom of the year awards, but I have managed to keep the baby fed and rested, keep me fed and rested, and have kept up with dishes and laundry.

I've been daring and risky and showered home alone for the first time since R. was born (I have showered since she was born; there's just always been another adult in the house when I've showered.)  I even took a shower yesterday and today...2 days in a row!  Amazing, huh? (Earlier in the week I was only showering every other day.)

I haven't really cooked any meals, but I've managed to eat 3+ meals a day...either from leftovers in the fridge or frozen meals.  Yes, my appetite has increased and my weight has finally started to go down again (I hadn't seen the scale budge since about 2 weeks post-delivery.  We are now 7 weeks post delivery, folks.)

And I'm not ashamed to say I've had 4 ladies come over so far for 1-2 hours to give me a break, let me go for a walk outside, etc.  And I have 2 more coming over the weekend.  Nope, not ashamed to admit I need/want help at all.

R. and I are developing a routine, and I think it's working.  I change her, feed her, play with her (during the day time only), and put her to sleep.  She sleeps for some amount of time (anywhere from 30 minutes-3 hours during the day, 3-4 hours at night).  And then we repeat it all over again.  There are always variables in there like extra diaper changes, cleaning up spit up, giving her a bath, etc.  My stress, however, is low for probably the 1st time since she was born, and I think she can tell that.  My whole focus this week has been to take care of her and I, and anything else extra is just that...an added bonus.

I'm going to venture out to the grocery store with her tonight....oooo...exciting Friday night activity!  And I'm going to pick up some sort of fast food for myself as a treat for making it through the week.  We live exciting lives here, people.

We did have a little mishap earlier in the week when I locked both of us out of the house (at least it was both of us and not one of us!).  We usually keep a spare key outside the home, but paranoid me, when I'm home alone I don't like the idea that there is a key outside the home.  So what did I do?  Put the spare key inside the house, so we'd be safe and no one could find it and get it.  Nice idea, huh?  I was trying to be good and venture outside one night for a stroller ride.  I figure I need to start getting some regular exercise and it was only 70 degrees outside..perfect for a walk.  She was fussing, so I was focused on hurrying out the door and to the stroller.  I had my phone and that's all.  As soon as I closed the door, I knew I had locked us out.  Thankfully, it only was a $40 mishap and a little time waiting for a locksmith.

Two more days and reinforcements arrive.  I can't wait for DH's aunt and cousin to arrive.  There will be 3 adults in the house then!  Three people to cook food, hold R. while she goes to sleep during the daytime, and people to watch her while I take a nap.  Woo hoo!  I'm excited.  They asked if it was OK if they arrived Sunday night instead of Monday night as they had originally planned.  I wanted to jump for joy...heck, yes.  Come a whole day early.  That was an easy day to check off my original list of "8 nights to go."  We're down to 2 nights now, and then DH arrives home next Friday evening (7 nights to go).  I am going to make it.  I'm going to survive nearly 2 weeks without him and a baby at home.  I'm just hoping it's the last time in a really long time that I have to do the single parent thing.  I'm not cut out to be a single mother.

Who knows what next week will hold?  I might even be able to upload some R. pictures here and/or on Facebook.  Wow, productivity, huh? Or wait...I might even be able to finish the birth story or order birth announcements.  I can only imagine being that caught up!

***So after this highly optimistic update, I got news that there was a death in DH's family this afternoon.  My reinforcements are not arriving Sunday.  They may not arrive until Weds. night at the earliest if the funeral is Monday.  More likely the funeral would be Tuesday since we're heading into the weekend now.  That means they "could" get here Thursday night...1 night before DH arrives.  I'll be honest...I want to cry.  Looks like my single parenthood continues for no more than 7 nights when DH would arrive back home. Ahhhh...I just might go crazy now.  Major bummer as I was looking forward to their visit for a variety of reasons...only 1 of which was helping me.  Anyone want to come for a visit?  I have the guest bath and bedroom cleaned and waiting.

Quick Takes (26)....Now Turned Long Saturday Takes

I started this yesterday (Friday), but didn't get a chance to finish it, so here it is now.  Technically, Friday is over and it's no longer considered Quick Takes, but I'm too lazy to try and change the formatting since I'd just like to get a post up.

--- 1 ---

In no particular order, here are some thoughts and events happening recently. Some of them might be better labeled "long takes," and I might have more than 7 things to say, but here goes:

Family visits: we survived having both sets of our parents in town the same weekend!  It helped that they both stayed in a hotel and our friends stayed at our home:-)  Overall, it was good to introduce Baby R. to them and be able to spend time with our parents, even if it was only for 3 days.  My mom was crazy, as she always is, but we tried to ignore her.  It helped that I was severely sleep-deprived and not caring about a whole lot!  She's already talking about when she can come back and visit, which is pretty amazing considering she's only been out to visit us one other time and we've lived here for 8 1/2 years.

--- 2 ---

Baptism: This past weekend we welcomed Rachel into the family of God.  What a surreal experience it was to hold our child while the water and Word combined to do an amazing saving act.  I cried the night before thinking about the event, the morning of, before the service, and the hymn right before the baptism.  I did not cry, however, during the baptism, but my DH did.  We were honored to have our friends stand up as Godparents and travel all the way from Atlanta to be present for the baptism.  They also brought along their two kids ages 5 and 2.  We are Godparents to the 2-year old, so it was fun to be able to spend time with her and see how she has grown, and the neatest part was seeing how enamored she was with Baby R, her Godsister.  They had never been out to visit, so it was fun showing them our local sights and having them stay with us- though our little house did get a wee bit crazy at times!

--- 3 ---

Healthy Sleep: I recently picked up a copy of the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" as a few people had recommended it to me.  I read the part about sleep in the first 1-2 months, and boy was it pretty accurate for us.  It's reassuring to read that R's sleep habits are actually quite normal for her age, and it's useful to know what's ahead as far as her sleep patterns go. 

--- 4 ---

Napro: We recently met with my Napro Dr. as he's going on sabbatical for a year.  It was strange to make the 90 minute drive down to his office with an infant in our car.  That drive had become so routine for us in the thick of treatments.  At some point, we were driving down every other month I think.  And this time, it had been 9 months since we'd been there for an appointment.  We introduced Baby R. to Dr. S and talked about where to go from here.  He suggested I re-start Metformin in another month and then re-start low dose naltrexone in 2-3 months.  Both are ok while breastfeeding and I was on both before we got pregnant and then through 20 weeks.  I'd sort of like to start them now rather than waiting, but didn't think to ask what the benefit would be to wait.....

We did check my Vitamin D levels because they were so low in the past and I had sort of slacked off on taking Vit. D supplements while pregnant.  I'm not really sure why, but I think I just ran out of the supplement and then didn't get any more.  While, my Vit. D is low again...37, so I'm back on 4,000 iu a day of D3.

I don't know what the next year will hold for Napro and me.  If we do want to try and get pregnant again or I have questions about my current fertility health, I can contact his partner, but she's not really Napro trained.  I guess we will just wait and see what happens.

--- 5 ---

6 weeks- Yesterday marked 6 weeks for Baby R and I.  It's amazing how things have really turned around the last week or two as far as her sleep and development are concerned.  (I have a separate post on that coming soon.)  Yesterday, I went for my post-partum visit with my local OB.  One of the 1st questions the nurse asked was if I'd be getting an IUD today.  Um...no thanks!  Everything checked out OK with my healing.  I declined birth control and had my thyroid and iron levels checked because I am so tired all the time.  Yes, I realize I have an infant at home, but I'm really, really tired all day every day.  All blood work checked out ok, of course, but my TSH and T4 are in the lower end of the range, as they always have been.  Looks like that hasn't changed since pre-pregnancy.

--- 6 ---

Growth spurt: our little one gained 9 oz the past 8 days!  Talk about a big growth spurt for her, and she did all of this while our company was in town and we were under a lot of stress.  She's now up to 8 1/2 pounds...still little, but getting bigger!

--- 7 ---

Vaccines: I'm starting to think about her 2 month appointment, which is rapidly coming up.  She's supposed to get a bunch of vaccines at the appointment, and we need to decide what to do.  I'm not opposed to vaccines, but with her being so little and so young, I'm not comfortable with the amount of vaccines she's supposed to receive.  I've been looking into Dr. Sears alternate vaccine schedule, and our pediatrician would be on board with this, but I'm curious what other people think.  Thoughts?  Experiences?  Things I should consider?

1st bottle: DH has finally started giving Baby R. a bottle each day.  Overall, she's taken to the bottles like a trooper.  We started using Medela bottles as I could pump right into them, but switched to Dr. Brown's to see if we could cut down on her air intake.  The only problem now is that a lot of the milk I've frozen (a bag a day since mid-May) is either tainted with antibiotics that I was on for 10 days or the diet I was following wasn't the best (caffeine, gassy veggies, dairy).  So...do we throw that frozen milk out and start over?  We did give her a bottle of it last night and it seemed she was extra fussy and extremely restless overnight.  The verdict is still out on if that was because of the previously frozen milk or not.

SIL: I've talked before about DH's youngest sister...she's the one living with the boyfriend who has no job yet won't watch the kids while she works, she has 2 kids of her own with him, he has 2 other kids by 2 different women, we've called CPS on her before when he was beating her and burning her things, etc.  I've really wrestled with God about her situation, wondering why He continues to grant her/them kids and not us.  This was especially hard before we got pregnant, but I'm starting to think "once an IF, always an IF."  Last week, right before the baptism weekend, she announced she was 16 weeks pregnant with her 3rd child, a little boy.  I instantly got ticked, jealous, and mad.  Apparently, she didn't think you could get pregnant while breastfeeding (her youngest is 10 months old now).  Both DH and I got really upset...for different reasons, I think.  But it made me pose the above question about always being in IF.  Here I sit, close to the eve of the baptism of our child, and I'm filled with jealousy.  What gives?

Catching up: I feel so far behind on blog posts, emails, Facebook photos, thank you notes, and we haven't even ordered our birth announcement yet.  I realize these are all trivial items, but the organizer in me is going crazy.  Hopefully, now that I'm feeling better and our company is gone, I'll be able to catch up on thank you notes at least!

Swing regression: The swing no longer puts Baby R. to sleep.  I don't know if this is a temporary thing or not.  It works if I hold her until she falls asleep (she loves to be held) and then gently set her in the swing, but if I try to have the swing rock her to sleep, it doesn't work or she spits up.  I bought an infant pouch type carrier this week that I'm going to try and see if that helps during the day some.

Single parenthood: DH is heading out of town for the next 13 days (hence the above purchase).  Yikes!  I'm super nervous about being a single parent for that time period.  I'm on my own for 8 days and then his aunt and cousin come for a visit to help me for the rest of the time and see him once he returns.  He's going to take 2 weeks of graduate classes as he works to complete his Doctorate degree.  After this trip, he only has to go one more time to take classes and then finish his dissertation.  He is so close to being done and needs to complete everything by 2015.  We knew it would be tough for him to go, but I've gotten so spoiled by how much he's helped with the baby, that I didn't realize how hard it would be for him to go.  I'm trying to have some ladies from church come over for a bit several days next week...either to hold her while she wants to sleep or just give me a little break.  Any extra prayers would be appreciated though!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Newborn Pictures and More

Let's start with the "more" part and then onto the pictures...life has been incredibly busy.  I came down with a cold last week and then I think it turned into double ear infections!  Seriously.  What adult gets double ear infections?  Apparently, me.  I had to go on antibiotics for 10 days, which means Baby R. also had to go on my antibiotics.  Not fun.  Her spit-ups and fussiness are back.  We're waiting to see what happens when I go off the meds...3 1/2 more days.  Oh, and one of my ears is still plugged, by the way.  What the!  I'm hoping the fluid clears up soon.  I'm ready to be done with meds!

And this may well be the sick house because DH has a scratchy throat and Baby R. seems to have lots of congestion in her nose....not fun!  I'm feeling majorly guilty that they both got sick from me, even though I've been on meds for a week.  Still, not fun.  I'm going to make some saline drops and try them in her nose (per her doctor's website) to see if that helps her congestion.

Baby R. is up to 8 pounds now...what a chunko, huh?  She still seems so little, but we can tell she's putting on weight and getting longer.  She is sleeping pretty well at night right now- thank the Lord, but she doesn't like to sleep much during the day, which is strange to me because it's obvious she is tired, but she just fights it.  She's so curious...she'd rather stay awake looking around at everything than sleep.  Yesterday, she slept 11 hours in a 24-hour period!  That just might make me crazy.  Today, she's so tired I think she'll sleep more than that, but the longest she's ever slept in a day (since I've been keeping track) is 15 1/2 hours.  16 hours is the average for someone her age, but some newborns sleep up to 20 hours a day!  Not this kiddo.

Both sets of parents are coming to town today along with good friends of ours and their two kids.  They are all coming for R's baptism on Sunday.  I can't wait.  More on that later, but for now...some of her pictures you've all been waiting for.

This is R at one day old in the hospital.

And here she is at one week old.  Her features changed some from when she was just born.

Who doesn't love naked baby pictures?

And baby pictures with big flowers?  Our photographer said you can get ribbons, bows, flowers, and headbands for newborns on up at Hobby Lobby.  Who knew?  I love Hobby Lobby and went to get some tiny headbands for her (she's been called a boy on numerous occasions already).

This is my 2nd favorite photo from the shoot.

And this is my absolute favorite one!  I think she looks older than a week old here.

Our first family photo.

I'll be back sometime next week after the company leaves.  I still need to finish the birth story!  Don't worry, I will.  And I might have more pictures for you too:-)

Quick Takes (25)

--- 1 ---

I can't believe it's June already!  Where did May go?  May is my favorite month around here because of the temperatures and the scenic beauty, and May is already gone.  Tomorrow, June 2nd, is a day forever etched in my mind.  I wrote about it last year.  What a difference a year makes.  I'll snuggle my girl a little closer tomorrow as I remember the two little lives I have yet to meet.

--- 2 ---

Thanks for all your comments and suggestions about reflux.  I started taking a probiotic, am still eliminating high offender foods (those causing the most gas/sensitivities), and we also took Baby R. to the pediatrician this week.  He agreed with us that it was most likely reflux and prescribed a small dose of Zantac for her.  My preference would be to stay off medication in a one month old, but things were getting really bad and we had tried almost every thing we could think of the past week.  We agreed to try the medication for a week and see if we noticed a difference.  The good news is her spit ups are way down and she's sleeping a ton better in the evening and some in the daytime.  She doesn't seem to be as uncomfortable, but she still has spells of crying in the late afternoon/evening.  I'm thinking it might be the Purple crying we learned about in the hospital.

--- 3 ---

We purchased a swing yesterday.  The 1st time we put her in it she didn't care for it, and I got worried we wasted a huge chunk of change, but today when I tried it, she fell asleep and slept in it for 2 hours.  Beautiful!  It's so nice to have options to get her to fall asleep!  I'm thinking my next purchase may need to be a baby sling or wrap, so I can wear her during the daytime some.  And to think, I said I didn't want to purchase all those "useless" baby gadgets that I would never use and would only take up space.

--- 4 ---

We're trying to get ready for more company around here.  Next Friday each set of parents is coming to town to meet Baby R. along with our friends (her Godparents) and their kids.  They are all coming for her baptism, so it's sure to be a fun-filled, meaningful, full weekend.  Our house desperately needs to be picked up and majorly cleaned, but right now I caught a cold this week and it turned into a double ear infection and that isn't happening.  I'm starting to stress a bit about everything I would like to get done in the next 7 days!

--- 5 ---

The good news about going to the pediatrician's this week was we got to weight the baby again.  She's up to 7 lb 9 oz, still little, but up 1 lb 2 oz since her lowest discharge weight!  She's starting to get a little belly:-)  It's cute.

--- 6 ---

I'm still planning to post the rest of the birth story and her newborn pictures...just as soon as I have some spare minutes.

--- 7 ---

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.  No more quick takes for me.  Off for another feeding session!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Reflux?

I'm still recovering from our long weekend.  We had friends visiting us for the whole weekend, and while it was great to see them (we only see them once or twice a year), both DH and I were exhausted by the time they left Monday afternoon.  They were our 1st house guest since we had our basement finished (they loved having their own bedroom and bathroom downstairs) and our 1st house guests since Baby arrived.  And really, they were ideal house guests because they just made themselves at home while DH and I took care of Baby R.  They made their own breakfasts, did dishes, cleaned some of our house, and even washed their sheets and towels this morning before they left and remade the guestbed, so it would be ready for our next guests in 2 weeks.  Can you believe it?

Still, it was a long weekend because neither DH nor I got many naps in during the day, which are what have been helping us make it through the night with Baby R. since she still has a rough time some evenings.  She is still so unpredictable though.  Friday she did so well during the day and slept well in the evening without much fussing.  She slept 3 hours, 3 hours, and 2 hours Friday night.  Perfect!  Our friends thought we had the perfect baby...until the rest of the weekend rolled around.

Baby R. became very spitty and extremely fussy over the weekend, spitting up a lot with every feeding.  I've suspected reflux for a few days now, but the weekend really seemed to confirm it in my mind.  DH and I have tried a lot of different methods to cut down on her excessive spitting up...burping her every 5-7 minutes while feeding, nursing her while she's at in incline not laying horizontally, elevating the top of her bed a bit, doing gas drops at each feeding, nursing only from one side, and keeping her upright for 30-60 minutes after eating before laying her down in the crib. I've even become really picky with what I eat and drink and cut out dairy, eggs, and caffeine along with watching so I don't eat gassy foods.

It's frustrating for me that nothing seems to really work because she seems like she's so uncomfortable at times.  It used to be that I would nurse and she would fall into a "milk coma," so sleepy and content with a full belly, but milk coma girl is no more.  Now I nurse and she continues to fuss, grunt, arch her back while eating, and then cry and cry afterwards.  Sometimes she really works herself up with the cries and the only thing I can think of is that her little insides are uncomfortable.

This weekend, I would nurse for 5 minutes, stop to burp and she would already be spitting up.  I would nurse another 5 minutes, burp, and she'd spit up again.  Certainly, that can't be normal?  She never has a problem not wanting to nurse, and sometimes (often times?) she nurses too much.  I've read babies with reflux can often overeat because the breast milk acts as an antacid and is so soothing to them, they don't stop eating.  I've tried to just nurse her for 18-22 minutes and not more to see if that cuts down on the spitting up (results uncertain at the moment).

And we're not just talking about a small amount of spit-up.  We are talking about enough to soak through a thick burp cloth, enough to pour all the way down your back from your shoulder and onto the floor...I think it's definitely more than the 2 tablespoons I've read can be normal.  Her spit-up varies from watery to mucusy to chunky.  The good thing is she's not vomiting and there's no projectile aspect to her spitting up.

Since we started letting her wake herself up and us not waking her, she eats every 3-4 hours for the most part.  Some times she'll want to eat 2 or 2 1/2 hours after the last feeding, but typically she nurses and burps for 1/2 an hour and then it takes us another half an hour (or more to put her down) and she'll usually sleep 1-2 or sometimes 3 hour stretches.  She's usually very hungry when she wakes up and I feed her almost right way.  We've thought about waking her up again to nurse, so she eats smaller meals more frequently, but that's the last resort to try.  It's so nice to let her sleep the amount of time she needs to, which is only 13-15 hours a day (yes, I've been keeping track of how much she sleeps, eats, and poops).  With so much time between feedings, she only gets 6-7 feedings in a day, but nurses well during those times.

The worst part of all this is when the spitting up wakes her up from sleeping.  We'll feed and burp and go through all of the spit-up cleaning business at that time.  Then we hold her or rock her for 30-60 minutes until she falls asleep and we can put her in her crib.  Then 1-2 hours later she spits up in her crib, which wakes her up from her sleep and she usually won't go back to sleep at that point.

I called her pediatrician's office on Friday, but her doctor was out of town and so I just got a response back from the on-call doctor who said it's not a problem as long as she's eating ok and gaining weight.  We are going to do another weight check with her Tuesday or Wednesday to see if she's still gaining an ok amount of weight as she has been the previous 2 weeks, but to me all the spitting up just seems excessive and I hate seeing her cry so violently after I feed her.

So...what do you think?  Am I crazy to think she has reflux?  Are there other things I need to try?  Do I need to get her in to her pediatrician to talk about this or just ride it out?  Does stress affect the composition of my breast milk (I was definitely stressed and low on sleep this weekend)?  Could it have just been a little stomach bug this weekend?

The Birth Story: Part 1: Preparing for Labor

Well, here we go...I'm finally starting the birth story, but before I talk about going into labor, I need to tell you how I prepared for labor, so you can appreciate the labor and delivery story.  DH and I took a 6-week lamaze class offered by the hospital we were going to deliver at.  We actually took a whole series of classes that included parenting, infant safety, lamaze, breastfeeding, etc.  It was a package deal, so we got a discount on the pricing:-)  For 6 weeks we learned about the stages of labor, relaxation techniques and comfort measures, breathing techniques (hee hee, ha ha), and medical interventions.  We also watched a birth video and talked briefly about what to do after Baby arrived.  Oh, and DH got to wear the empathy belly (a 30 pound outfit with breasts, a pregnant belly, and simulated rib pain).  That was my favorite part.  I got pictures of him wearing it, but I'll spare him the blog embarrassment.

This being our first experience with labor, I'd say the classes were informative and helpful.  We learned a lot about labor and this particular hospital's general approaches to it.  Therefore, it gave DH and I a lot to talk about as far as our preferences for our birth at the hospital, and we were able to start some of the relaxation techniques during the end of the pregnancy.

With that said, however, once the class was over, I did not feel prepared to give birth.  I don't know if it was because I still had a lot of fear about the pain or if there were so many things in the class I felt like I couldn't remember how to do them all.

Even as we were preparing to take lamaze, I knew I wanted to have a doula (labor coach) present for our birth.  I knew I would need someone to keep me calm, and I also knew it couldn't be DH because I probably wouldn't listen solely to him since neither of us had been through the birth process before.  We found a Christian lady we really liked who had been present at over 60 births.  She'd been a doula for almost 15 years and actually used to teach the Bradley Method.  We arranged to go through her comfort measures class after we finished lamaze, so that's what we did.  We learned all the basics from the hospital-sponsored class and then worked with the doula specifically on her approach to labor.  She focused more on a deep, slow breathing technique that I liked better than the lamaze one, and she also had a lot of different positions to labor in that we practiced.  We practiced some self-pep-talks as I called them (I'm a strong confident woman.  Labor is a natural process, etc.)  I also coined my own phrases that I wanted to focus on during labor that were meaningful to me, yet short enough that I could remember them (I thought).

They were: Trust God.  Trust my body
and God is good.  This (labor) is good.

These were phrases that helped me focus on God, first of all.  I knew I would need Him to be clearly present during labor to give me peace and comfort during what might be the most difficult thing I'd have to get through thus far.  And the phrases also started teaching me to trust my body/trust the labor process.  Trusting my body was not something I was able to do well...even through pregnancy I still thought my body was going to fail me, since my experience with my body was so many years of failure and brokenness.  I knew I needed to start re-training my mind in regards to my thoughts about my body in order to make it through labor.

After the comfort measures classes with the doula, we started working on writing our birth plan.  This was a one-page document where DH and I recorded our preferences, to the best of our ability, regarding our hoped for birth outcome.  It was actually harder to write than I thought because I knew what some of the hospital procedures were (cutting the cord right away) and knew what my preference would be (waiting to cut the cord until it's stopped pulsing).  Some of the things I decided weren't as big of a deal to me as others like the timeline for cutting the cord.  Here's what we came up with:

Date: April 17, 2012

Our main goal is to have a healthy baby, healthy mom, and positive birth experience.  While I know that I may need to respond to unexpected situations, this birth plan reflects our current desires.

·         -I would like my labor to begin on its own, unless there's a medical reason why induction would be safer.

·         -I would like to labor without pain relief drugs as long as possible using comfort and relaxation measures such as walking, position changes, and trying the Jacuzzi tub.

·         - I plan to have continuous labor support from my husband and a doula.

·         -I would like my labor room to be as quiet and calm as possible with as few interruptions and vaginal exams as possible.

·         -I would like fetal monitoring to be intermittent and external if the baby shows no distress signs.

·         -I would prefer to have my waters break on their own.

-I am comfortable with letting labor progress at its own rhythm, and I prefer non-drug methods to

help labor progress.

·         -I prefer to let my perineum stretch on its own, and I realize I may experience a natural tear.

·         -If absolutely necessary, we would prefer vacuum extraction over forceps.

·         -If I’ve not had an epidural, I’d prefer mother-initiated pushing.

·         -After delivery, I would like my husband to cut the cord.

·         -After baby is suctioned and cleaned, I would like to hold baby skin to skin.

·         -I want to breastfeed as soon as possible after delivery.  Please delay baby’s eye ointment application until after breastfeeding.

·         -I want to keep baby with me after birth, allowing us to have as much skin-to-skin contact as possible and unlimited opportunities for breastfeeding.

·         -We would like to be present for baby’s 1^st bath and the pediatrician’s exam of baby.

-Please don’t give baby bottles, formula, or pacifiers.

-Please don’t give baby the Hepatitis B vaccine.  We are delaying this.


We actually shared this birth plan with our doula first to get her feedback and did make a few changes from what she suggested.  Then we shared the plan with our OB.  I wasn't sure how she would respond, but she was very open to everything we had written and said it wasn't really that far off from what they usually do at the hospital (skin to skin, breastfeeding right away, etc.)  She kept a copy of the birth plan in my medical file and I printed extra copies and added them to our hospital bag.  

You notice that I don't have much about pain relief medications in the birth plan.  My thought was that I'd like to labor as long as possible without medication, but I didn't think I could go through the whole labor and delivery without any meds because I didn't think I had the mental strength or physical stamina to endure.  I thought I'd end up with an epidural at some point.  My DH, on the other hand, thought I was mentally tougher than I gave myself credit for, but this was really one area that I was quite uncertain about.  It was strange to have labor looming on the horizon, and not really have a "plan" of how exactly it would go.  I'm such a planner, this was a first for me, and for the most part, I was ok doing as much preparation as I could, and then just waiting it out to see how things went.  Though I'll admit, at times, it was still scary to think about the pains of labor, and even right up until the end, I sort of got freaked out by the whole idea that I actually had to go through the birthing process.

Now that our classes were completed, our meetings had been completed with our doula, and our birth plan was in writing...the only thing left to do was wait until labor started.  

To be continued in Part 2...