Quick Takes (36): The state of affairs around here

--- 1 ---

Sleep.  I got 4 solid hours of sleep two nights in a row...woo hoo and then slept another 3 hours!  R has been waking up 3 times overnight to nurse, and we've slowly been trying to get it down to none or at least 1.  The hardest part has been figuring out what sleep training method we think will work best for her: cry it out, no cry sleep solution, baby whisperer, Ferber method, etc.  We briefly dabbled with CIO and NCSS, and it was very clear those were not the methods for us.  I picked up a copy of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers, and have been reading about how to make her feel safe and secure and to trust I will be there in the morning, how to develop clear routines, etc..  I've been implementing a few of the strategies, and maybe they are working?!?  I still think we need to do something more direct with the overnights, but baby steps, folks.  I'm looking at the positives.

--- 2 ---

Cow's milk.  R doesn't like it.  Her pediatrician said as long as I'm still nursing, I don't need to introduce cow's milk, but I was trying to get her to drink it thinking that would help reduce the overnight feedings.  She loves her sippy cup of water during the day, so I tried to add a little milk to that...nope, wouldn't take it. I tried mixing a small amount with my milk...nope.  She doesn't really like dairy either (cottage cheese, yogurt, cheese.....she won't eat any of it).  Do I just keep offering her dairy and eventually she'll take some?  What if she has a dairy allergy?  I have a dairy sensitivity, and I did have to cut out dairy while nursing early on because of her reflux.  Hmm...not sure how to proceed with that one.  I'll probably just give it some time and things will work out. That seems to me my mantra around here.

--- 3 ---

A 3 year old.  A friend posted on Facebook about how her daughter was turning 3, and all of a sudden I remembered that this was the good friend who told me she was pregnant shortly before I found out I was pregnant for the 1st time in 2009.  And it hit me....I could have had a 3 year old right now if we hadn't lost that baby to miscarriage.  June 2nd was our due date with baby #1.  It's a date that I always remember, but it short of snuck up on me this year.  And for some reason, I feel sadder now thinking about what might have been.  Perhaps because I've seen what joy R has brought into our lives, it makes me sad to know what we missed out on with baby #1 (and #2 for that matter since R was #3).  And while I can't imagine my life any different right now with an older child, I still mourn the loss of those babies I haven't yet met.  But June 2nd is also the date of our sponsor child's birthday.... someone we choose specifically because of her birth date and wanting to honor the memory of our 1st baby, so beauty does rise up from the ashes.  It does.

--- 4 ---

Women's conference.  I'm going to a women's conference this weekend.  I'm really excited because my soul needs some filling.  Everyone from church that said they would join me has bailed, and since I had already purchased my ticket to the event, I'm going alone.  At first I was really depressed about it saying, "I don't have any friends here," "Poor me, I have to go alone," blah, blah, blah.  I was mad that I had already purchased my ticket because I would have just decided not to go, but I'm too cheap to lose the money since I've already paid for it.  And now I'm ok with going to the conference alone and am looking forward to seeing what God is going to speak to me because I'm ready to listen.

--- 5 ---

Ants.  We have ants in our house.  Mainly they are in the dishwasher, but nothing has gotten rid of them yet.  I run the dishwasher and while it's still hot in there, the ants are still crawling around inside.  I don't know what to do to get rid of them.  We have traps set and I daily clean up things in the kitchen.  Ugh.

--- 6 ---

Raccoon.  We also have a raccoon on the roof. Lovely.  I heard a bunch of thumping around two nights ago when I got up to feed R around 2am. I still heard it around 4 or 5am.  Then that morning around 6:30, I was looking out the window towards the roof to see if I could see anything on the roof, and a little raccoon face peers around the chimney on the roof!  It's like he was looking right at me mocking me.  ha, ha.  I kept you awake last night.  I tried to chase him away from inside, but he just ran to another part of the roof and came down later because then I saw him was walking on our deck at 7am.  Once we determined he didn't look rabid, I made DH run outside and chase him away!  Ugh.  We are so ready to move from this rental.

--- 7 ---

June. I can't believe it's June tomorrow!  We're entering our summer travel time with lots of trips coming up.  I'm excited for them but also nervous to travel with a toddler who likes her routine, familiar surroundings, and sleep.  We'll how that all works out in the coming weeks and months.

Happy weekend, y'all!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Blogger In-Training

We're starting out the training young:-) Perhaps she'll surpass both DH and I in our blogging and emailing efforts.

Since this video was shot, we have pulled out an old laptop that we no longer use for her to play with.  We don't turn it on, but she still has fun banging away on the keys and opening and closing it!

God's Timing vs. My Own

I've been thinking a lot about God's timing lately.  This was the weekend we were going to move into our new house, or at least that's what we put in the documents when our contract was accepted.  We were supposed to close on Friday, and then the previous owners wanted to have a few days to move all their things out.  We were to get possession of the home tonight and then starting tomorrow, would have been off and running to clean and get the house ready for us to move things in.  Instead, we're having a nice, quiet, relaxed weekend and looking forward to R's 1st time in a swimming pool tomorrow.  A far different scenario than the one that was in my mind for Memorial weekend.

In some ways, I'm a little sad that we're not getting ownership of a home this weekend.  Both DH and I are tired of the rental home we live in.  Now that the humidity has started rising, our home smells like a wet dog.  It's so gross.  The previous homeowners did have dogs, and the flooring here is so old, that it's just retained the smell.  And they did clean the carpets before we moved in! 

The insulation is terrible in the home, the windows are single-pane energy suckers, we've had animals in the attic, leaks and drips in R's room, standing water in the basement, broken doors and garage springs, ants in our dishwasher, cockroaches in every room of the house and the kitchen cupboards, and the list goes on.  I think the problem is the home was vacant for so many years before we moved in, and just hasn't been taken care of.  We are both ready to be in our own place, and it would have been nice to be on the road to making a new place our permanent while we reside in this southeran state.

In other ways, I'm ok that our lives are a little less hectic right now.  It's been nice to not think about the stress of moving and we really haven't been doing much house hunting either aside from looking at the email listings.  I've been accomplishing things around the house and feeling productive getting caught up.  Of course, we are still having major nighttime sleep issues with R, but that's a whole other post for another day (I need your help, y'all).

Back to God's timing.  When we first signed the contract, I remember thinking how perfect the timing of the home purchase was.  We would have had a few weeks to get everything moved in before our 6 month lease ran out on the rental home.  We could have slowly made a bunch of small trips over before DH has to go out of town.  I would have been able to be in the new home while he was away; thus feeling safer by myself than I do here.  And the list goes on. 

Everything seemed to fall into place with us being able to get inside the home and make an offer that same day before they accepted another.  "God's perfect timing" I kept thinking to myself as things lined up nicely in my head to make the move.  Yes, I had my freakout moments with how quickly things happened, but I just kept thinking to myself that the opportunity was God's timing. 

And then things began to crumble and we made the decision to walk away from the home.  We both felt peace about it, but I walked away scratching my head a little bit wondering where was God's timing in it all?  What had seemed so clear to me was no longer the case.  In my mind (my timing), it seemed perfect, and yet I have to believe that God has something better in store for us with a home.  I think about Ephesians 3 (verses 20 and 21, I believe) where it talks about God being able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.  And I guess that's the idea I'm clinging to right now...a house even better than I can imagine for us to raise R in for these next several years (we're thinking we'll be here 10+ years...maybe).

It's not coming in my timing but in God's.  And while those two timings haven't often lined up- I think about dating, marriage, pregnancy and how I thought I was ready for each years before they actually happened- God's timing does always seem to be the better one once I'm able to look back on it and see the final result.  So I will attempt to trust the One who knows me even better than I know myself.  He is giving us yet again another opportunity to trust Him with the provision of the home.  It's scary for me to not be the one in control, and yet it's humbling and faith-producing.

So instead of celebrating with new home ownership this weekend, we're looking at extending our lease and realistically thinking it may be fall before we find a home.  Everybody and their brother is out looking for a home at the moment, so they can move before the next school year starts in August.  Sellers are getting their asking prices or more, and the competition is fierce.  Homes are going off the market in just one day.  I said all along that I wasn't interested in getting caught up in that game, so I'm ok waiting it out for a few more months.  It's harder on DH though.  He really doesn't consider this place home at all, not even a temporary home.  He's so intent on settling down that this renting has been hard for him.

And yet through this whole process, I know God is teaching both of us to trust Him, turn to Him, and rely on Him to provide our needs.  That is reason to celebrate this weekend and enjoy all that He has given us!  I hope you're doing the same.

Quick Takes (35): A Few of My Favorite Things

I did start this on Friday but am finally finishing it now.  Here are a few of my current favorite things.  In no particular order....

--- 1 ---

Coconut oil.  I love it.  Just ordered another big tub from here.  I ordered my last tub before we moved, so I guess it's taken me about 5 months to go through 54 oz.  That seems pretty slow, but I've mainly been using a couple teaspoons to make my oatmeal in the morning.

--- 2 ---

Probiotics.  I love them.  I take one each morning and R takes one most mornings as well.  Her pediatrician actually recommended this one.  I just have the local pharmacy order it since I haven't found it in stock anywhere and it's supposed to be refrigerated.  It's also cheaper than ordering online!

--- 3 ---

Aldi.  Love it!  This is the first time I've lived any where near an Aldi grocery store and I'm in love.  It's a perfect match for me.  I can deal with the quirkiness of the store (quarter deposit for a cart, bring your own bags, bag your own groceries, only pay with cash or debit, etc.) for the trade off of lower prices (at least 50 cents to a dollar cheaper on every item) and healthier food.  Aldi is German, and I've found that the ingredients on their store brand items are healthier...less preservatives and dyes, etc.  Someone told me Trader Joe's and Aldi have a connection, but I don't know about that.  Shopping at Aldi makes me feel good about not cutting coupons as often as I would like!  And they have really yummy German food...Muesli, bratwurst, sauerkraut, beer, etc.  I get to enjoy all the treats I had living in Germany years ago.  Seriously, this should have been at the top of the list.  I can't stop talking about Aldi.

--- 4 ---

Upromise.  This is another one that I'm still learning about, but it's a free way to save money for college just by shopping online and at stores.  You can save for a child or put the money towards existing loans you have!  There's more info here.  Like I said, I just heard about it at CVS.  And CVSes are new to me as well.  All these new stores in the South/in a big city:-)  But anyways, you have to sign up for an account and then you can link your rewards cards (for CVS, Rite Aid, Kroger, Publix, etc.) to get a percentage put into your Upromise account.  Also, when shopping online at tons of places (Target, Walmart, etc.), if you log into your account then go to the website, you'll get 1%-10% put into the college account as well). Totally free savings that can accrue for years.  I think you can also invest it as well.  Totally legit. Totally free!  I'm exciting.  Makes me feel a little better about having not opened a 529 plan yet for R!

--- 5 ---

Summer time.  School is just about out around here, which means activities at church start to slow down a bit, which translates into a little less busi-ness for DH.  His night commitments are just about done for the next 3ish months and I'm looking forward to new experiences with R- swimming, water play, and more.  Of course, it also means lots of heat and humidity and travel plans with a toddler but I'm focusing on the positive right now...more time with DH home (hopefully).

--- 6 ---

A toddler.  Oh my...did I just mention a toddler in #5?  Apparently, after a baby turns 1, they all of a sudden become a toddler and leave their baby-hood (or baby-ness?) behind.  This is both exciting, fun, sad, and bittersweet all at the same time. Everyone lately has been telling me that the age from 1-2 is their most favorite time, so I'm adding it to my list here.  R is growing up so quickly it's fun to watch.  She wants to use a fork while eating lately (because she sees DH and I use one, I think), loves the crawling maze/jungle gym we assemble with the couch and pillows, is close to walking (she does laps around the house pushing the desk chair), and is getting better sleeping with sleep training.  She is silly and playful and so much fun.  Thank you, Lord, for this baby-now-turned-toddler.

--- 7 ---

One year photos.  We had so much fun with R having her photos taken.  She had a ball and was such a ham!  I could not believe it. Every time I pull out the camera to try and catch her doing something cute, she sees me and races over to try and push all the buttons on the camera.  She didn't do this for the photographer.  Instead, she sat and posed away.  It was unreal.  DH and I were laughing it was so funny and cute.  Here's a taste of the shoot (photo credit goes to CH photography for them all):

Have a great rest of the weekend!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Walking Away

This past weekend we decided to walk away...from the house DH loved in the neighborhood I adored.  We spent lots of time discussing and praying about what to do after our findings from the home inspection.  The sellers were offering a home warranty on the house for a year as some of you suggested, but even that didn't settle our uneasiness about what we were getting into.  DH said it felt like the house was a money pit, and that explained my sentiments exactly.

We were in the process of trying to write up negotiations with our realtor, and DH and I just decided to terminate the contract (we were still in the due-diligence period).  We wanted to have them complete several of the repairs and drop the price significantly.  Our realtor didn't think they would do that since they had received other full price offers, so we just decided to walk because really, we were no longer that excited about the house anymore.

We both had a peace about walking away even though it meant losing some money from the inspections and even though we really want to find a home and start settling down here.  I feel bad for the sellers and wish we never would have put an offer on, but they already have the house back up on the market and DH and I learned quite a bit from the process.  He and I are more unified in our house hunting going forward and have a better idea of what we can and should be looking at in homes.

Walking away I had peace, but I also had disappointment.  I was already imagining us living in the home.  Those hopes and dreams were dashed and I'm left wondering about the timing God has with those whole house searching process.  I trust He will show us the way, but I get anxious and want Him to hurry up!  I worry that home prices are going up- 20% since we started looking 5 months ago.  We had locked into an awesome mortgage rate, so I worry about what that will be when we finally do find something to buy.  And yet I realize it is all out of my hands.  I have no control, so the only thing I can do is trust God to provide....provide wisdom, patience, guidance, direction, and ultimately a home.  Gee...that sounds so familiar from other times in my life!

I don't believe it's a coincidence that the verse I chose to memorize May 1st, as part of my yearlong Scripture memorization challenge, was Psalm 31:14- "But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."  The circumstances under which I chose the verse were very different, but it's exactly what I need to be meditating on right now.  God is good.  He knows what we need even before we do.  Love that. 

I heard this song on the radio yesterday, and it was as if God was speaking directly to me through the words.  Don't you love when He does that?

It's a new song from Sidewalk Prophets.  Here are a few lines that struck me, but really the whole song is great.  You should listen to it!

I don't know where to go from here, it all used to seem to clear, I'm finding I can't do this on my own

I will trust in You.  You've never failed before.

If there's a road I should walk, help me find it.

If I need to be still, give me peace for the moment.

Whatever your will...help me find it.

Quick takes (34): House and One Year

--- 1 ---

So many thoughts today....let's start with the house first.  We had the inspection yesterday, and just as I suspected, there's a lot that needs to be repaired or replaced.  The list from the inspector is long and mainly filled with "smaller" items...no GFCI (grounding outlet) in the kitchen, a leak in the jacuzzi bathtub, no optical sensors on the garage doors, rusted chimney cap, furnaces need servicing, etc.  All those smaller items will add up though, I'm sure of it.  We would need to hire a handyman, a plumber, an electrician, a HVAC professional, a tree trimmer, a painter, and maybe that would cover it.

--- 2 ---

It's not the small list that overwhelms, however.  It's the longer list of items that are ok now, but will probably need attention in the next 1-5 years.  The house was built in 1991, and it has a lot of original items- both furnaces, one a/c unit, oven, cooktop, etc. 22 year old furnaces and air conditioners don't excite me much.  Add to that a tree that needs to be taken down in front because it's cracked the sidewalk and driveway and then repair to the sidewalk and driveway...painting the siding...replacing a deck...replacing a retaining wall...new garage doors....and a new roof in 6-10 years.  Now all of a sudden we're looking at needing a lot of cash to repair those items. 

--- 3 ---

And that's where I really struggle.  I'm the "money person" in our family.  I make us budget.  I pay the bills.  I keep track of finances.  I save for emergencies.  I save for retirement.  I tithe.  My DH goes along with it all and agrees we should do it, but I am the one to make all those things happen and am definitely the one concerned about money. I know we can afford the house. We ran the numbers last night for all of our projected expenses with the house.  I called to get ballpark numbers for the utilities, we know the property taxes, the insurance, the HOA, and the mortgage payment.  We know our monthly expenses and yearly expenses (broken down monthly).  We also know what we want to save and give.  And I'm afraid it's not being a good steward to take on a house of this size and purchase price knowing all of the things that could (and most likely will) go wrong while we are in it.  We're not super frivolous with our spending, but I don't want to get to the point where I have to count pennies or consider going back to work.  I just don't feel that's where I've been called to serve my family at this point.  But then I've been contrasting that with trusting God to take care of us and provide all of our needs....and where do you draw the line between trusting and being a good steward?  I feel like we're entering into unsafe waters.

--- 4 ---

I'm afraid of what's going to happen.  We know the sellers have to bring cash to the closing and our agent thinks they aren't going to budge on price or repair much or at all.  That's really not our problem (I don't mean to sound rude- just stating facts), but I guess our agent is trying to prepare us for the worst case scenario.  It looks like we will most likely have to walk away from the house.  DH and I want to give the sellers a chance to respond to the inspection report, but our due-diligence period ends on Monday.  We've already put over 1,000 into the house with the inspection, appraisal, and land survey.  We would lose all of that, but could still get our earnest money check back (1% of purchase price) if we walk by Monday or can't come to an agreement.  Ugh.  So emotional, overwhelming, and time and energy consuming all at the same time!

--- 5 ---

Now on to brighter thoughts.  What I really want to be doing this week and weekend is celebrating a special little girl's 1st birthday!  I can't stop thinking about how quickly she came into the world and how quickly a year has passed.  Do I really have a one year old.  She's almost no longer a baby but soon to be toddler.  I feel like my excitement has been so tempered by the stress of all the house stuff, and for that I'm disappointed in myself.  We're having a little party tomorrow, so that should be fun, but none of our family will be present, which makes me sad.  That's the reality and hard part about living so far away from family and having families that don't like to get on a plane much and travel.  Maybe that will change when R gets older, but for now, it is what it is.  So I'm thankful for my BFF and her family- husband, kids, and her parents.  They will be our "family" for the party tomorrow.

--- 6 ---

Celebrations are tempered a bit by the weather....cold and rain!  So much for our outdoor grilling tomorrow.  I realize I could be experiencing snow like my parents and some of you, so I'll take the cold and rain  But R is also sick again with a snotty nose.  Her mood has been OK, but she's got so much thick congestion again.  I sure hope it's a cold and not another ear infection!  I do think it could be allergies because the pollen count is so high here, but people say allergies don't kick in later for babies.  We had to cancel her 1 year photos for the weekend as well on account of the above.  I've already learned that not much in parenting goes much like we plan.  What I haven't learned yet is exactly how to deal with those times of disappointments and not dwell on them.

--- 7 ---

We've also hit the one year mark for nursing!  Take that, dang PCOS!  I truly cannot believe I have nursed for a year.  At first, I just wanted to make it to 6 weeks.  Then I said I'd try for 3-6 months.  After I hit the 6 month mark, I said I'd just see what happened.  I always dreamed of making it to a year, but I was realistic about my hormone issues from PCOS.  I said I would try to nurse as long as I could, but I wasn't sure how long that would be, and I was ok with it.  How did I get to a year?....plain 'ol oatmeal every morning, lots and lots and lots of water throughout the day, some mother's milk tea here and there, and coconut oil every morning to fatten up my milk.  Wow.  And so where do I go from here?  I have no clue.  I never thought I would get here, so I don't have a plan.  R still nurses a lot (4-5 times during the day and 2-3 overnight), so I guess we just continue on until shown otherwise?

That's all.  We'll know more on Monday whether we have the house or not.  I'll let ya know more when I know more.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Offer Accepted

Our offer on the house was accepted Friday night! Ahh....I'm nervous and excited and scared all at the same time.  We had a good feeling it would be accepted because we knew we put in the highest offer- just a bit above the other offer.  But the sellers were slow getting back to us, so I was worried that they were accepting additional offers or deciding to make us bid against the person who made the 1st offer.  DH and I already agreed that the offer we put in was our best and only offer.  We weren't going to raise it or try to bid against another.  So when we heard they accepted, I was actually a little surprised.  And then nervous.  Oh no.  This might really be happening.

They countered with a slight change in the closing date and wanting to remain in the home for a few days after closing, so they could get their things moved out.  We could have not accepted the counter and walked at that point, which is really what I wanted to do. Just run away from it all and go back into my little quiet, happy place that doesn't require any more change.  DH and I had a few intense conversations, and we finally agreed to move forward, with the agreement that we would walk if too many things came up from the inspection.

I actually came to the realization that I needed to trust my husband more (and God, too) and not be the one to always call the shots or us constantly doing things in my timing or according to my comfort level.  I was feeling extremely uncomfortable with the fast timing of everything, but I realized my discomfort was due to me not being in control (I am a control freak).  And sometimes it's ok to not be in control because it means I need to trust more and not rely on my own devices as much.  And that is a good thing to practice...trusting God and others more.

After I made those observations of myself, and after DH and I talked, I finally felt at peace about the whole house situation.  What a relief that was.  I had so much anxiety covering those few days, I didn't know what to do.  Things didn't feel right; I didn't feel right, yet wasn't sure why or how to proceed.

I went from waking up that first morning after our offer was put in hoping that they didn't accept it to starting to get excited that things will work out.  I'm actually starting to be able to see us living in that home.  That makes me excited but also nervous now because it means I'll be disappointed if we have to walk away from the deal.

Our home inspection is on Thursday.  We're also having a roofer come out, someone with pest control, and a land survey done.  All of our loan documents are already to the lender and we locked into a 3.375%/30 year mortgage or 2.625%/15 year one.  Awesome rates!  Better than what we had refinanced on our last home.  We still have to decide the length of our loan.  We really wanted to do a 15 year because you save so much in interest, but there are so many unknown expenses here, I think I feel safer doing a 30.  Maybe, maybe a 20, but probably 30 is the safest route to have a little extra cash free that we can either apply to the principle, use for schooling costs, retirement, etc.

I'll let ya know how things go Thursday!  I'm hoping nothing major comes up because we know the sellers already have to bring money to the closing.  I'm not sure they would want to negotiate the price down too much or fix anything.  Time will tell if we move forward or walk away.