Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!  I love the Advent/Christmas season.  In fact, I think it may be my favorite time of year.  I love the 4 weeks of preparation before Christmas.  I love Advent wreaths and Advent calendars.  I love the lights on our tree and the ornaments that remind us of all the places we've traveled as a married couple.  I love sitting by the light of the tree and reading.  I love the Advent hymns and Christmas carols.  I love the time of reflection as we prepare our hearts for the coming Christ child. 

But the last few years Christmas has become hard.  I'm reminded of the things we don't have- family nearby to celebrate with and a child/children to create new Advent traditions with- instead of all of my favorite parts of Advent.  Why is it that our human nature often chooses the 1 or 2 negative things to focus on instead of the many positives in our life?

Christmas is always a little different in our household due to the hub's job.  Since he's responsible for all of the worship services at church, we are never able to travel on a whole weekend because he needs to be back Sunday morning and we're always in town for holidays.  I knew this when I agreed to marry him, and having worked in the church myself before, I knew the sacrifice of time required.  But still, there are times when it is hard.  It isn't any better that neither of our families are much for traveling.  My entire family is in MN and chooses to stay there to celebrate.  My in-laws are in TX and used to come out to celebrate Christmas with us, but ever since the hub's little sister had a baby out of wedlock, they choose to stay home and celebrate with their only grandchild.  Does that hurt?  You bet.  Am I jealous?  Definitely.

The hubs says visits from our families will become more regular once we have children, but that doesn't take away my feelings of loneliness and hurt now.  I'd like to think our families would want to spend holidays with us now.  As it is, they only come to visit once every two years.  And so Christmas for us is always different.  I'm really not trying to complain, but just state the facts of what we do, why we do it, and how I feel about it.  We spend the morning at church, and then return to our house for gift-opening and a meal together.  I truly am grateful for my amazing husband and the faith we share.  I realize a lot of people- including most in our immediate family- don't have that (shared faith or a healthy marriage).  For some reason we are different than our families of origin. 

Thank you, Lord, for that difference.  Help me to focus on the many blessings I do have from You rather than what I think is missing in my life.  Help me to trust You to fill my heart where it seems void.