Remedies for Worry?

Worry.  It seems that no matter what stage of life we are in, we find something to worry about.  Whether it's worry about... what major to choose in college or ....when we'll meet our spouse or ....when we'll start our family or....when we'll be able to keep a pregnancy or.....what our kids will grow up like, etc.  As women, it seems we can always find something to worry about.

I recently read these two quotes by Corrie ten Boom about worry:

Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.

Are those words not so true about worry?  Nothing good comes from worry.  So why then do we continue to worry?

Matthew 6 also speaks about worry.  I try to keep in mind verses 33-34: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.  

Ah....another profound statement about worry.  So that begs the question again, if we know all these things about worry, why do we continue to worry?

I've been asking myself this question a lot in the past 10 days.  Why do I continue to worry about this pregnancy when the numbers were great last week?  For me, I think it comes down to fear and not being in control.  I worry because I'm fearful of what the future might hold, and I worry because I'm not in control of the situation and I can't control the situation.

So what do I do to try and lessen the worry?  I try to follow Matthew 6:33- I try to seek God's kingdom first, so that my worry will be put into the proper perspective.  I spend time in God's Word each day through my morning devotional reading and our couple's evening devotion.  I pray to God throughout the day and also pray with my husband each night.  I try and read Christian/Biblically based books that point me to God.  I listen to Christian music in my car.

Even with all of these daily attempts to seek God's kingdom, I still find myself consumed with worry at times, so I ask you...what are your remedies for worry?

My worry factor has gone into overdrive this week as I still don't feel pregnant like I did with the 1st pregnancy.  I know every pregnancy is different, but this lack of symptoms is really throwing me for a loop. So much so that today I called the OB again and asked if I could come in for another HCG blood draw as it's been a week since my last one.  I need some sort of proof that things are going ok because I'm failing miserably at walking by faith not by sight at this moment. I wish I had a stronger faith and was more patient waiting and trusting God.

The office threw me a surprise by saying I could just come in for an early ultrasound tomorrow morning since I should be around 6 weeks now (maybe plus a few days)!  I almost fell off my office chair I was so surprised.  So did I still want to come in for that blood draw today or wait until the ultrasound tomorrow?  Guess what I chose?  Early ultrasound at 7:30am tomorrow morning!!!

Holy cow!  I flipped out after I got off the phone.  I was almost shaking.  I had no clue they would offer me an ultrasound because they've been such sticklers up until this point. I don't know if I'm more excited or nervous to have the ultrasound tomorrow.  Tomorrow morning I will have answers and that will be a relief.  I will have that sight to see what is happening in my body.  Will the baby be measuring on track?  Will the baby be in the right spot in my uterus?  Will there be blood flow to the baby?  Will we be able to detect a heartbeat?  I will know the answers to these questions in less than 16 hours.  Hopefully the tech will tell me something or I'll be able to see something myself.  If not, I have to wait until the nurse reviews it.

And I'll be honest, I'm utterly scared to find out the answers.  Tears are streaming down my face as I type this because I am so afraid and I realize the wound of miscarriage runs deep.  All of the disappointment and heartache from our first pregnancy- the missed miscarriage- just came flooding back to me as I thought about going in for an ultrasound tomorrow.  I remember all too well the joy and excitement I was filled with at that first appointment two years ago.  And then I remember the terrible news that the baby was measuring 3 weeks behind, there was no heart beat, and no blood flow to the baby.  I remember staying composed in the ultrasound room and even talking with the doctor about how to have the miscarriage.  And then I remember just wanting to sprint out of the office after it was all over.  Tears started to flow as DH and I walked to the car and then I lost it and cried for the rest of the weekend. 

And so as I go to the same office tomorrow and probably the same ultrasound room, but I pray that the outcome is so much different this time.  If you think about it, would you also pray that the answers I get tomorrow would match those of my heart's desire?  I so want this to be a new chapter in my life- one of pregnancy life not pregnancy loss.  The problem is, I'm not the one writing the chapter and that's so hard.